What's on your mind?
by AngelicDragons
Summary: How would things have turned out different if one of them could have heard the others thoughts at the times they needed to most.
1. Arise

**This is idea just wouldn't go away. What would happen if one or both members of Caskett could read the other's thoughts. I would clear up some miscommunication, but other things would definitely be interesting. I'm not sure this turned out the way I wanted it to, but I definitely want to hear what other people think about it. I probably should have picked a happier, more upbeat situation, but this is what came to me.**

**If there is response, I have an idea or two for other situation that this could happen in. Heck, even if there isn't response, I may write them anyway.**

* * *

He stopped just before opening the door. He looked to make sure the flowers where right and then thought to check his hair. This was the big moment. He had confessed his love for her. How would she react to what he said to her?

"Alright, time to face the music."

He walked through the door. He saw her sitting in the bed and Josh right there beside her.

_Castle! Thank God! He really is alright._

"Hey Castle."

He stopped for a second. What was that? I'm hearing things. He walked over to the bed as Josh left the room.

"Hey."

_Please stop looking at me like that. Not this broken person. Remember Nikki Heat. Remember Detective Beckett. Not like this._

"You are staring at me. I must look really bad."

There is was again. He heard her say to separate things, but one of them was not coming from her mouth. He had finally lost it. He had finally cracked under the stress. "No, I just thought I would never see you again." He answered softly.

_Me too. Never see those blue eyes again._

Don't bring her down. Keep it lite. "I heard you were opening a flower store, so I thought I would pitch in."

_We are keeping it lite. That's good. I can handle lite._

"They were all here when I woke up. I think they are mostly from the precinct. I don't think I'm going to live this one down Castle." Kate answered.

"Oh, Probably not." Well that answered both questions, so that was cool. He was hearing her thoughts. This would have been so cool under much different circumstances.

_Ok, Kate, here is the hard part. Let him down easy. Like it never happened. He can walk away from you. You are a target and he almost took a bullet intended for you. He can't throw his life away._

Kate let out a sigh. "I hear that you tried to save me."

"Yeah I ah…you heard? You don't remember me tackling you?" What is this? What was she doing? She remembered. She just thought it.

_Keep it simple Kate. He can see right through you._

"No, I don't remember much of anything. I uh, I remember I was on the podium and then I remember everything just going black."

"You don't remember…the gunshot."

_The gunshot. You tackling me. You almost getting killed. You saying you love me. You mean do I remember that?_

"No. They say there are some things that are better not being remembered."

_This is awful. I'm awful. Please Castle. Please. Don't make this harder than it has to be._

"Yeah." He couldn't believe it. She doesn't feel the same way. How could I have been so wrong? She was letting him walk away.

_Hold it together. Time for the push. Forgive me for playing on your guilt Castle._

"I keep seeing his face Castle. Every time I close my eyes. I see Montgomery lying on the hangar floor. You should have let me go in there." Kate pleaded.

"They would have killed you." Surely you have to know that.

_I know they would, that's not the point. Drive the wedge home. Push him away. Keep him safe._

"You don't know that."

"Kate…" What are you doing Kate? His life was falling apart in front of him.

_I'm not going to be able to keep this up much longer. _

"Castle, I'm really tired, right now."

Sadness washed over him "Of course, of course we will talk tomorrow."

_No_

"You mind if we don't. I just need a little bit of time. "

"Sure, sure, how much time?"

"I'll call you ok." _No I won't._

"Sure." She didn't love him. He was just a partner. Nothing more. They would be nothing more. How had he been so wrong? At least he got to leave with is dignity more or less intact.

_Goodbye Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle. I love you too._

He came to a dead stop at the door and whirled around at her.

"Excuse me?"

Kate looked at him "I didn't say anything."

"Goodbye Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle. I love you too." He started walking back over to the bed. He watched the little bit of color in her face drain. "Why are you lying to me Kate? If you love me too, why are you pushing me away? Why are you lying to me?"

"What?" Kate looked confused and scared.

"You remember everything. You love me. You are pushing me out because you are scared for me. You are worried about me."

_What the hell? Is he reading my mind?_

"No reading, hearing. I hear your thoughts. Everything you've thought since I walked through that door I've heard."

"Castle, this is the worst time in the world for humor."

_Or the worst time in the world for this to be true._

"It's true. Think something else."

_OK…To really get Josh going, I take my tongue…_

"NO!" Other staff and patients jumped in the room. Castle turned and looked at around apologetically. He turned back to Kate. "Please, please don't finish that thought. Please."

"OH MY GOD, CASTLE!" Kate hissed. Even in her current condition she could still looked fearsome. "You can hear my thoughts. You've heard everything I've thought? Then why were you going to leave?"

"Because I thought you didn't feel the same. But, when you said you loved me, I couldn't walk away from that. From you."

_I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. Crap. I'm going to cry._

"So, what happens now?"

_Well, pay attention Castle. I don't know what happens next. I don't know. I'm hurt. I'm drugged. I'm tired. I'm hallucinating obviously._

"Beckett. Kate. That's not what I meant. Can I come back tomorrow?"

_Yes, Castle. Yes, you can come back tomorrow._

He leaned over and kissed Kate's forehead. "Rest Kate. Till tomorrow."

_Till tomorrow Castle._


	2. Stranger and Stranger

**This was supposed to be a series of unrelated stories where mind reading changed what actually happened. However after writing the first chapter and thinking a little bit a story has formed. I don't know what the end game is, but let's see what happens.**

**Thanks for all the reviews and encouragement. I hope this chapter delivers.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Never have and unfortunately never will.**

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Kate came through the haze the next morning. What they had started giving her last night wasn't as strong as what she had been on directly after the surgery. She could tell because she could actually feel pain, not bad, but it was there. Secondly, she could think straight. If she had been thinking straight she wouldn't have confessed her love to Castle yesterday. Well, it wasn't really a confession, he read her mind. Richard Castle, in her mind. How was that fair. She gets… Well she should have super powers, not him. It occurred to her that the universe was not over wrought with justice. Kind of why she had a job. It completely destroyed her plan to run away and lick her wounds. Now that he knew she loved him she would never get rid of him. Did she want to get rid of him? No. Did she want to protect him? Absolutely. Well, today would be interesting to say this least.

Kate startled from her sleep. The breakfast tray was gone. She hadn't even finished it before falling asleep. What was the noise that woke her?

_Kate Beckett loves me. Kate Beckett loves me. Ka-te Be-ck-ett loooovvvesss meeeeee!_

Oh Crap. What the hell was Castle doing? Singing in the halls? He couldn't sing about this? She hadn't even broke up with Josh yet. Not to mention they hadn't really discussed any sort of next step.

_Shut up Castle! Shut up!_

The door to her private room edged open and in popped the head of the man in question.

"Shut up what?" He looked confused.

"Shut the door!" She hissed. Castle pulled the door shut behind him. "You can't be walking through the halls of the hospital singing that I love you. We haven't even talked about it. I'm still with Josh."

Castle looked back at the door and then back at Kate and then back at the door. He opened his mouth and then closed it.

_I wasn't singing out loud. I was singing in my mind._

Kate's eyes went wide and her mouth popped open. "Shut The Front Door!"

_I read your mind Castle._

_Kinky._

_CASTLE!_

"Sorry. Sorry."

"_Why didn't I notice yesterday?"_

"With all due respect, you were on enough narcotics yesterday to take the pain off of your… your wound and the surgery. Not noticing something you weren't even looking for can be forgiven." _It's still cool though._

_Is not. _"Ok, fine it's a little cool." Kate thought for a moment about yesterday. The few parts she could remember anyway. "Did you hear that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I've been thinking about that and the thoughts I heard yesterday along with your altered condition lead me to a conclusion. We have to think about, or at, on another for the other to hear it. I couldn't feel or hear anything about your pain or your fuzziness from the drugs. I couldn't hear anything about Josh when I walked in the room." Castle walked over and sat down on the chair next to the bed. "I only heard things about or to me. In your condition you couldn't control them getting thrown out into the universe."

Kate had a sigh of relief. _Hey Castle. Can you hear me?_

_Yes._

"Well how do I stop you?"

Castle shifted in his seat. "I'm not sure yet. That was one of the things we need to figure out. Right now we hear things like we are talking to one another. How about I think about a situation we have been in and see if you get anything?'

_Ok._

Castle placed his hand on his chin and stared off into space.

Kate didn't get anything. "Nope nothing."

Castle squinted his eyes and really concentrated.

"Nope, noth….did you just think about grabbing my butt, Castle?"

"No."

"Castle I felt something touch my rear. I'm sitting in a hospital bed, drugged. It had to be you."

Castle eyes got very wide. "Not on purpose. That thought slipped. I'm very sorry".

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What were you thinking about?"

"Lunches we had, cases we worked, conversations we've had. I also thought about asking you out to dinner and that took me back to the undercover operation at the club and the dress you were wearing and the way it hugged your…"

A throat cleared from the doorway.

Both Castle and Beckett turned toward the door and had the same reaction. _Crap!_ Kate's was more surprise and embarrassment. Castle's was more aggravation and annoyance.

"Hey Josh." Kate said quietly. _Castle can you give us some time._

_Of course Beckett. I'll go grab a coffee, or do you want me to comeback this afternoon?_

_Just grab a coffee. Thirty minutes?_

_Thirty minutes._

"Well, I'll leave you to." Castle stood from the chair. "Beckett. I'm glad you are improving." Castle turned toward the door. "Josh."

"Castle." Josh made his way over to the chair that Castle had just left.

"So, this is it."

Kate was still moving a little slow. "What?"

"Kate, he tried to jump in front of a bullet for you. He was at a funeral standing by your side while I was here at work. I'm not an idiot. We both knew that this relationship wasn't going to last. We are too involved in our work. I'm not here six months or more out of the year. Don't get me wrong, I care about you, but he jumped in front of a bullet for you."

"Lousy way to break up. In a hospital bed barely able to move."

"Yeah. Look, I was serious. Be careful. Don't get dragged into something you can't handle."

"What, like getting….hospitalized?"

"Yeah, like ending up in the hospital needing major surgery." Josh stood from the chair. "I'll see you around?"

"Probably." Kate looked up from her folded hands and at his face. "Have a good life Josh."

"You to Kate. You too." And with that Josh walked out of the room.

Kate realized that she actually felt better rather than worse with the ending of this relationship. Well, if she was honest with herself it wasn't really a relationship, it was a place to hide. But she wasn't hiding anymore. Apparently she wasn't even hiding her thoughts.

"Gonna have to do something about that."

Twenty minutes later Castle came back into the room carrying one cup of coffee.

"None for me?" Kate asked, knowing full well that even if she could have coffee it would make her unimaginably sick.

"Sorry. Doctor says you can't have any. I'm really sorry." _Can I ask what happened or is it too soon?_

"We broke up. I guess I should feel bad, but it feels more like a relief." _So now what Castle?_

"Well, now you get better. We get you well and back to where you want to be. You let me help you…"

"Castle, I don't know…"

"Beckett, please. I didn't sleep last night. I just sat there and worried. Please let me help. I know you don't need it or want it, but let me help."

_Still giving me an out Castle?_

"Was I supposed to hear that?"

"No." She smiled weakly. "That isn't what I meant and you know it."

"I know, but first things first. You get some rest. I'll just wait right here."

"What no good night kiss?"

Castle closed his eyes and that's when Kate felt it. _An arm wrapping around her back and a hand cradling her face. She closed her eyes and could see his bright blues eyes and they closed and their lips met. She reached out and put her arms around his neck and brushed her tongue along his lips. He took the hint and welcomed the deepening sensation of the kiss returning her passion in kind._

As they both opened their eyes a flush overtook both of their faces.

Castle smiled, the first real smile since Kate fell at the cemetery. "Best goodnight kiss ever."

Kate lowered her head to hide behind her locks, but Castle could see her smile and shining eyes. "Yeah."

Rick patted her hand, "Get some rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

With that Kate closed her eyes and faded into restful sleep.

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**I know I committed a sin with nice Josh, but I just wanted the character gone. I don't think much of him and neither should you.**


	3. The Red Pill

**I'm flattered by the people following and favoring this story. I eager to find out what everyone thinks of this chapter. Guess I'm going to have to get her out of the hospital soon.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle**

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_CASTLE!_

Castle bolted awake in the chair. He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep.

_Castle! Castle, stay with me. Stay with me Castle!_

A nightmare. Castle was listening to Kate's nightmare. That's what woke him up. Now that he focused he could almost feel her terror. His first impulse was to wake her and save her from her nightmare. Then another thought occurred to him, what if he could help her? He had touched her with his mind. Could he touch her dreams? If he was a more cautious man he would have listened to that tiny voice telling him no, don't do this, but he would do anything for Kate. He closed his eyes and reached out with his mind.

"_Kate!" He couldn't see anything. It was just cloudy shades of gray. "Kate!"_

"_Castle?"_

"_Kate!" Things were starting to get lighter, coming into focus. As the scene cleared before him he understood the reason for Kate's panic. They were in the cemetery. The sniper had already fired and everyone was ducking for cover. He and Kate were laying on the ground, only with one significant difference. He had gotten to her in time and taken the bullet. From the amount of blood on the ground and the look in the eyes of the body Kate was holding he hadn't made it. He ran the short distance to her side._

"_Kate. Kate can you hear me?"_

_She looked up from the lifeless body she was cradling in her lap and into his eyes. The pain and devastation he saw there destroyed him. He fell to his knees and grabbed her hands._

"_Kate. I'm alive. It's a dream. This is all a dream."_

"_A dream?"_

"_You are having a nightmare. We are both in the hospital room, remember? You are recovering. I'm waiting for you to wake up."_

"_A dream? The hospital? You aren't dead?"_

"_No. No. I'm not dead and neither is anyone else." Castle noticed the body on the ground fade away as well as the blood on Kate's hands and clothes. "See this is all a bad dream."_

"_Castle, what is going on? Are you really here? Are you a dream?"_

"_No. It's me. I'm not sure how I'm here but I could hear your nightmare. I wanted to help. I wanted to keep you safe."_

"_Whose dream is this now, Castle?"_

"_I don't know. Yours I think."_

"_Good. I don't want to be here anymore. Not in the cemetery. I want to be home."_

_Kate and Castle watched as the scenery around them began to shimmer like a mirage in the desert until the cemetery and the sky where gone and in its place appeared the comforting, familiar surroundings of Kate's apartment._

"_Home." Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath._

_Castle took her hand and led her over to her sofa and sat her down. "How are you doing Kate?"_

"_Better, now that you are here." Kate looked around the room. "This is really weird, don't you think?"_

"_Yeah, but cool weird. I guess I should apologize for invading your dreams."_

"_Under the circumstances, I'll let it slide this time." She let out a questioning sigh._

"_What?"_

"_Well, I just relived the shooting only I watched you die and now I'm sitting in my apartment. I don't feel any of the panic, fear, and lose that was there just a minutes ago."_

"_Dreams are like that."_

"_How much do you think we will remember?"_

"_Me, I'm completely awake, sitting in the chair next to your bed. I'll remember everything. You? Depends on how you decide to rationalize what is happening."_

"_This is very Alice in Wonderland." As if on cue a fluffy white rabbit came running through the apartment complaining about being very, very late._

_Castle tried and failed to stifle a laugh._

"_Back off writer-boy. I'm still on pain killers."_

"_I didn't say anything. Let's just stick to safe happy thoughts, okay?" Castle fluffed the pillow on the couch. "Tell you what, you take a nap."_

"_In a dream?"_

"_Don't think about it too much. You nap here while you nap in the real world and you get a good night's sleep. Well good afternoon's sleep."_

"_Sleeping while sleeping. This is way to meta."_

"_Lay down Kate."_

"_Yes sir."_

_Castle waited as she laid down and then covered her with a blanket from the back of the couch. He waited until she dozed off. Wow, that was really bizarre to watch. After five minutes he began to wonder how he could leave. He sat down, closed his eyes, and thought about reality._

Castle opened his eyes back in the hospital room. The first thing he noticed was the relaxed look on Kate's face. Much better than the worried, stressed expression that was there earlier.

"Wow. That was… something. I can't believe that worked, but I'm glad it did." He stood up and gently kissed Kate's forehead. "I love you."

Kate awoke several hours later. As she slowly came to it took her a moment to get her bearing. The sun had set and the lights in the room were low. Castle was still in his chair but sleeping soundly. The dear, sweet, precious man. Now we was taking care of her awake and asleep. She knew that there had been a time in her life where having Richard Castle show up in a dream of hers would have caused her to react with blind rage. However, his appearance and caring were a godsend during that horrible dream. He had brought her out of it and help her to get actual rest. She was sitting there just staring at the ruggedly handsome writer when the nurse came in the room.

"Hello Detective Beckett." She said pleasantly. "How are you feeling this afternoon?"

"I can feel the pain – discomfort really – but my head is much clearer and I can control my random outburst."

"Yeah, that's usually how the second day of any major trauma goes. If you need more medication you can just hit the button, you can't overdose."

"I know. I just woke up. I'd like to be conscious for a little while."

The nurse busied around the room checking monitors and taking vitals. "That's fine, but the more rest you get the faster you will heal."

Kate smile politely "I know, but even that gets boring."

"Well then, I'll be back to check on you in a few hours." The nurse breezed out of the room as quickly as she arrived.

Twenty minutes later Kate Beckett was bored. There was nothing on TV. She was usually still at the precinct at this hour so she didn't know anything about these shows. She didn't have her computer or phone with her so she couldn't entertain herself that way either. She looked over at her sleeping partner. She weighted her boredom against his sleepiness. She decided since she was the one in the hospital bed, her boredom took precedence.

"Castle? Castle. Castle!" Good grief the man could sleep through an earthquake. That's when she had an idea. She concentrated very hard for a moment. _She could feel phantom traces of this face underneath her hand. Castle let out a small sigh as her and went under his jaw, a smile appeared on this face as her hand caressed his cheek, he nuzzled into her hand as her hand reached his ear and then…_

Castle sprung from the chair grabbing his ear. "Apples. Apples."

Kate stifled a laugh that hurt her chest. "Good you're awake."

Castle looked at her with narrowed eyes but a smirk on his face. "You evil, evil woman."

_You love it._


	4. I couldn't help but notice your pain

**The next chapter will take a little longer. I think I rushed this one. I like it and I try not to second guess myself because that ruins the flow. So let me know if things are still on track or if this chapter faltered. **

**Thanks everyone for keeping up and offering input. It's kind of addictive to get the emails for favorites, follows, and reviews. Drives me to write better. You all deserve it.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Castle.**

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Castle entered the loft early that morning. He had been spending the nights at the hospital with Kate and then coming home in the morning. They both knew he was staying the night to help her with the nightmares and would leave in the morning so that when she got back from physical therapy she could recover in peace without having errant thoughts raided. Castle couldn't help but hover knowing she was in pain. Kate however needed the ability to gather herself together and let the pain fade before she could feel comfortable in Castle presence. The first day when he had stayed had been horrible. The pain was pouring out of her in waves and Castle was getting bits and pieces of both how bad she felt and how helpless she felt. His hovering had turned her frustration of the situation into anger at him. After her outburst, they both felt even worse. So now he left when he woke up in the morning and came back around lunch.

Alexis was eating breakfast at the bar when she heard the door open. "Hey Dad."

"Hey pumpkin." He walked across the living room and into the kitchen. He pulled some water out of the refrigerator and took drink from the bottle. "How are you doing?"

"Dad, we've had the conversation every morning for almost two weeks. I'm fine. I understand that she needs you. I spend most of the day at school and the afternoon studying with friends or out. I know you love me and you know I'm responsible."

"Deja'vu all over again." Castle mumbled to himself.

"Funny dad. How is Detec…Kate doing?"

"Well, most of the medical equipment is gone and the physical therapy is helping, but it's really showing her how far she needs to go. She's tough and she is taking it one day at a time. In fact she's probably pushing too hard, but she's never going to stop."

"So, have you broached 'The Subject' yet?"

"You mean have I asked what happens when they release her in a few days. No."

"Dad!"

"Alexis, she was originally going to run off to her father's cabin in the upstate and hide there from everyone. It's quite a win that she is letting me stay in the hospital with her."

"No kidding, but how do you think she's going to react if you spring this idea on her as she's walking out the door? With any woman and especially with Kate, you have to give her time to think things over."

"Right. Right. I'll talk to her about what happens when she is released." Alexis went to interrupt but he cut her off. "I will even offer the invitation to the Hamptons as an alternative to her dad's cabin. Alright?" Alexis beamed a smile at her father. "How did you get so smart?"

"Cosmic accident."

"I'll remember you said that. I'm going to take a shower."

The previous days for Kate were full of ups and downs. Getting the catheter out had been a high. Not being able to walk more than a few steps was a low. Having most of the machines removed was a high. Starting the abuse that was physical therapy was a high for getting to start but an abject low for the pain and how little she could do. She was still surprised that Castle had relented so quickly when she told him that he should go home in the mornings while she did therapy. He knew why she was asking and he had simply accepted it. He didn't accept anything. That's why she knew that he was up to something. She had several different guesses as to what it could be, but she hoped he wouldn't wait too long to bring up whatever it was. She wasn't great with surprises as the best of times, and this definitely wasn't the best of times.

"Miss Beckett, lunch." The orderly entered the room bringing the regular hospital fair. It wasn't that bad but the lack of coffee or more importantly caffeine was kil…taking its toll.

"Thank you." She said as she started eating a meat like substance that claimed to be chicken. With lunch being served she knew that Castle would be back soon.

Fifteen minutes later Castle entered the hospital room. "Hey."

"Hey there." She gave him a smile. The smile he returned was tight and didn't reach his eyes. She also noticed that his thoughts were completely quiet. Apparently whatever was bothering Castle was finally going to come out. "Castle, what's up?"

Castle came in and sat down in the chair next to the bed. It hit him as he sat down that the chair was positioned exactly in relationship to the bed as his chair in the precinct was to her desk.

_My desk Castle? You are stalling. Spit it out or I'm going to crawl inside your head and pull it out one thought at a time._

"What were you planning on doing when you are discharged? Are you still going to go to your dad's cabin?"

"Yeah, I was. Don't worry Castle. I wasn't running this time. I just need to get out of the city, get better. I didn't figure I could stop you from visiting if I tried, and I don't want to try. Besides, we still have a lot of things to talk about, don't we?"

_Yeah, we do._ "Well, I wanted to offer another alternative. What if you came up to the Hamptons with me?"

"Castle!?"

"Hear me out. I know that you need privacy."_ I know that you don't won't to show your weakness._ "It's a big house. You would have your own room. There is a library, a pool, a hot tub, and the beach. I would do my absolute best not to hover." _I really would, I promise. _"How long can your dad stay with you? Do you really need, and I said need not want, to be alone that long? What if something happens?"

_Castle!_

"Come on Kate. Please. I admit I'm being selfish. I admit it. I won't be able to sleep if I don't know that you are okay. I have to finish the book anyway. I'll be busy and out of your way most of the time."

"Most of the time?"

"Um, yeah."

"Let me think about it."

"Really? You'll think about it?"

"Yes."

_Funny, I don't hear you thinking anything._

"Castle, don't push it. I said I would think about it. Now drop it."

"Dropped." Castle ran his hands through his hair. "How are you doing today?"

_Frustrating. Painful. I'm so far from what I was Castle. So far. It's going to take so long to get back. I'm so tired all the time. And I can still feel the wounds, even over the pain killers. And apparently it has completely destroyed my personality because a month ago I would never have told you any of that._

"It's been a busy month. Also, you really didn't say anything. It's easier when you don't actually verbalize."

_Yeah, it is._

"So, you get some rest and do some thinking…"

"You aren't supposed to be pressuring me Castle."

"Yeah, sorry, sorry."

"If you can't control yourself here, how am I supposed to believe you can give me space at your home, when you can't keep yourself from pressuring me here?"

"Point taken. I will try to be better."

"I won't hold my breath."

"Get some rest Kate. You've had a busy morning. I'll be here when you wake up."

Kate leaned her head back and closed her eyes. _Night Castle._


	5. it runs deep

**OK, I lied. I didn't take my time. I'm really enjoying writing this and with so many people keeping up with it I want to keep the readers happy. So here is the chapter for the weekend.**

**Thanks everyone for reading and commenting. Keep it coming.**

**Disclaimer: I checked. Still don't own. More the pity.**

* * *

Kate let the orderly help her back into the bed. It's not like she had much choice in the matter. Physical therapy always left her drained and sore. She hated it, but there weren't many options open to her. She leaned her head back and tried to relax. At least her dose of pain meds coincided with her return from therapy. They helped take the edge off. As she tried to relax she started thinking about Castle's offer. Her initial reaction was to decline. She could go upstate, rest and recuperate in familiar happy surroundings. Castle could come up and visit when he wanted to and would leave when he had to work or got on her nerves. Or to be honest when she drove him away. She knew she was a lousy patient, she wasn't in denial about that. If she drove him away that wasn't something she could get over. Funny, considering that had been her original plan.

He had convinced her to think about it and against her instincts she was thinking about accepting. It would certainly be comforting to have him nearby. It would be an amazing change of scenery as well. It would also mean that she couldn't drive him away if, ok when, all this finally came crashing down on her. The problem was they had admitted their feelings for one another. This wasn't the best way to test out a relationship. Well, it wasn't really a relationship yet. They hadn't talked about much more. She was concentrating on getting better and he was doing his best to help. That was probably part of the reason for the offer. Since they hadn't really discussed where any of this was going he was probably afraid of her back sliding.

"Not like I have anyone but myself to blame for that." She mumbled to herself.

She should just say yes. It would make Castle happy and her too. She would certainly need the help the first…oh crap! Castle would be the one helping her. The scars, he would see the scars. Kate felt her pulse quicken and her breath shallow. Castle would see her damaged body. Kate hadn't had body image issues since high school. She knew she was good looking. She's wasn't vain but she did know how to use her looks. Castle fell in love with the flirtatious, sexual Detective Beckett. Not the damaged and disfigured Kate. What would Castle think when he saw the ugly, ugly scars? He had starlets and models hitting on him. Hell a world famous Hollywood star was playing Nikki Heat in the movie and she was physically flawless. He was one of the most eligible bachelors in New York. What was she thinking? She would have to say no. She would go to the cabin. Her dad could help her. He wouldn't judge.

Kate had to lightly shake her head to stop her run away thoughts. No. This is Castle she was thinking about here. That wasn't the kind of person he was, not anymore, probably never had been. She had to know though. Had to know for sure. Could she show him though? Did she have a choice? How was she going to do this?

"Hey Castle, can you lift my shirt up?" Yeah. That would be a real winner. She should wait for it to happen naturally but she can't take the risk. She can't wait. She has to know his reaction before she makes a decision.

"This afternoon is going to suck."

* * *

Castle was sitting at the breakfast bar sipping his coffee and reading the paper. Alexis came down the stairs ready for her school day.

"So?" She asked as she poured a box of cereal.

"She is thinking about it. I told her I would give her a few days and do my best not to hover or pressure her."

"And how is that going?" Alexis looked at her dad as she poured her milk.

"Her thinking?"

"You not hovering or pressuring?"

"Well I'm here and not there. That's got to count for something." Castle sat down the paper. "I'm doing the best I can. I'm really worried. I haven't felt like this since you broke your arm in eighth grade."

"Dad, I don't think my broken arm and Kate's situation are remotely comparable."

"My feelings of concern are."

That hit Alexis. When her Dad went all in with his emotions there was no holding him back. No wonder he looked happy and miserable all at the same time. Alexis walked over and gave her father a hug and kiss. "Just give her time dad. You got her to not shut you out and to now run away. Just a little more effort and you can convince her to go by not saying a word."

"Yeah, that's my strong point, being quiet." He put his head in his hands. "I'm so screwed."

* * *

As Castle entered her room he knew something was wrong. Over the last two weeks they had figured out how to keep one another's thoughts away from each other. It was sort of like closing a door in a room. If you concentrated on not letting your thoughts out they stayed in your head. After a while, it became easy to hold onto the thoughts they wanted and share the thoughts they wanted to. She was reading a book and at this moment there were zero thoughts coming from Kate. She was hiding. He wasn't sure what he should do. He knew that something was bothering her but he couldn't very well say I can't read you mind. It's not like he had some sort of right to. In an amazing act of restraint, he took his daughters advice. He was going to convince her by not saying a word. He simply walked in and sat down in the chair.

After ten minutes Kate put down her book and looked at Castle. "Seriously Castle?"

He didn't say or think anything.

"I can't believe that you, a well-known nine year old on a sugar rush who is incapable of being quiet, just out waited on of the NYPD's best homicide interregators?" Kate pinched the bridge of her nose. "I must be losing my touch. Nope, I'm going to blame the drugs." She closed the book and set it on her lap. "Castle I need you to help me with something."

"Anything you need Kate."

"I'm supposed to start changing my bandages twice a day, but I need help to do it."

Castle rose from the chair. "I'll go get a nurse."

"No Castle. If I'm going to spend time in the Hamptons with you, you are going to have to help me change the bandages."

_But I'll have to take your shirt off! Crap. That slipped._

"Haven't you wanted to see me with my shirt off for a while now?"

_You have no idea._ "No, I mean no. Wait, is this a trick question?"

Despite her nervousness Kate couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Castle was so adorable when he was flustered. "It's not a trick Castle. It's just part of what you will have to do if you want me to stay at your place."

"Right. Of course." Castle straightened his back. "What do you want me to do?"

"Well, I can do the buttons, but you are going to have to help me get my arm out. I can change the bandage on my chest but you are going to have to change the one on my side. I can't twist to reach without pulling the stitches." Kate started undoing buttons.

Castle put his hand on hers. "Kate, promise you won't hold any of my random thoughts against me. Please?"

Kate attempted to smile playfully to hide her concern. "That depends on what you think Castle."

Kate continued undoing the buttons to the shirt and Castle managed to remain quiet the whole time. "Castle, this is the part where you help me out of the shirt."

_I'm so not going to survive this. Clean thoughts. Clean thoughts._

"Relax Rick. Just help me get my arm out."

Castle leaned over and gently removed the sleeve from her left arm and pulled the side of the shirt away.

"Now, slowly remove the tape and the bandage. Check to make sure all the stiches are intact and then tape on the new bandage."

"OK. Let me know if I hurt you." _Careful Rick. Slowly Rick. Don't hurt her and definitely don't stare at her very attractive, alluring, captivating…_

"CASTLE!"

"Right. Right. Sorry." He carefully removed the bandage and for the first time saw the wound.

Kate closed her eyes. _Moment of truth._

Castle didn't hear the thought. He was too consumed with the task at hand. He looked at the scar running down her side. Without thinking about it he reached out and lightly touched the area. "That doesn't hurt does it?"

"You touching it? No."

_So much pain._

"You aren't hurting me Castle. The pain meds help and as long as I'm sitting and not moving too much everything is manageable."

_So much strength._ Castle pulled his hand back from the scar and began applying the new bandage.

"Castle, are you listening to me?"

"What? I'm sorry Kate. I wasn't paying attention."

_You don't think they are ugly? You don't think I'm damaged?_

When she turned her head to look at him he could see the tears beginning to show in her eyes. "Ugly? Never. These are the marks of your courage and will to survive. These are permanent signs of the strength of who you are. I'm sorry that this happened to you and the pain that they caused, but they could never take away from your beauty."

_I was so scared to show you Castle. You fell in love with Detective Beckett. I was afraid that you wouldn't love damaged Kate Beckett._

Castle leaned over and gently wrapped his arms around Kate's shoulders. "I fell in love with everything that you are, Kate. Everything." _Oh no, I just looked at her chest and we are having a moment. Closes your eyes._

Kate stifled a laugh. _It's alright Castle, you can look. _She giggled again when his face blushed all the way to the tips of his ears.


	6. Moving Forward

**Keep the follows, favorites, and especially comments coming. They fuel the story.**

**Thank you everyone.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle.**

* * *

Kate settled back into her bed after another morning of brutal torture. Castle would only be gone for another hour or so and she had to make some phone calls. When Castle had figured out she was planning to run, not only had he refused to leave, he convinced everyone to drop by at random times. Lanie came by every other day, the boys stopped by in the afternoons sometimes. She hadn't told any of them about Castle's or her confessions of love. She hadn't even told Lanie about the offer of staying at the Hamptons. The problem was she needed Lanie to pack her clothes to make the trip. She hoped being in the hospital would save her the third degree, but she didn't think she would be that lucky.

Kate picked up her phone and braced herself. For a crusty homicide detective she should be appalled at the amount of information that Lanie could pull from her with so little effort. At least she wasn't on the heavy meds anymore. Maybe she would be able to keep some of her secrets. She hit the dial button.

"Hey girl, I was going to come over this evening and see how you were doing."

"Getting better, getting better. Speaking of which they are going to be letting me out of here in a couple of days and I need a favor."

"Honey, I would love for you to stay with me but I can't take the time off of work. You would need someone to be with you during the day and I can't do that."

"Yeah, I know. That's not the favor. Well actually I need two favors. Several actually."

"Girl, what are you up to?"

"Can you get me two weeks' worth of comfortable clothing from my apartment plus underwear." Kate squeezed her eyes closed knowing what was about to happen.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get out of the city for a little while, relax, and get my strength back."

"I figured that out. I asked where?"

Kate thought about avoiding, or deflecting, or just out and out lying, but she figured that lying would only make things worse, and she still needed the favor. "TotheHamptonswithCastle." She didn't say she wouldn't slur her words.

"YOU ARE GOING TO THE HAMPTONS WITH WRITER BOY!"

Kate put her palm on her forehead, how could she possibly have understood her. "Yes." Kate wasn't sure what the sound she heard was, but it was shrill and hurt her ears. "Lanie. Lanie?"

"What, I'm happy. I want all the details. Wait. How long have you known? I was just there the other day and you didn't say anything. YOU'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS FROM ME? KATE BECKETT!"

"Stop yelling Lanie and I'll tell you."

In a much quieter voice Lanie continued, "Ok, go ahead."

"I'm going to need help. I don't want it, but I'm going to need it. Dad can take some time off work, but not enough. Castle, well…he's Castle. Saying no wasn't really an option. And if me being in the state I am because of being hurt and weak doesn't drive him away, then maybe we do have a chance."

"Wait, a chance? You two have talk talked?"

"Not completely. We have admitted…feelings for one another, but not much else. I assumed that this would be a chance to sort out everything else. He said we would move slow and he would give me space."

"You think writer-boy can actually do that?"

"I don't know. I think he can. I know he will try his best." Kate took a deep breath. "I-I showed him my scars, Lanie."

"Wow. What did he say?"

"All the right things." Kate didn't want to share exactly what he said. It was intimate. Something only to be shared between her and Castle.

"I knew he wouldn't let you down. He loves you."

"I know Lanie. I love him too."

The line was quiet for a minute as both ladies thought about the journey that got Kate to that confessions.

Lanie broke the silence. "You said favors?"

"Yes. Yes I did. First the clothes. Second, don't tell the guys. Third, no lingerie or bikinis."

"Kate, it's the Hamptons, it's Castle."

"I mean it Lanie. I have a pretty hard road ahead. Even though I showed him the scars doesn't mean I'm ready to parade around showing them off. I want big, loose fitting clothing. Stuff to lounge around in. Also I don't want him to think I'm teasing him. I'm not in a teasing place right now, and like I said we haven't really discussed where this is going."

"One bikini and one sexy outfit"

"Lanie, this isn't a vacation. I'm recuperating not vacationing."

"One."

"Fine, one, but you never ask about it."

"Kate…"

"Never Lanie. Never."

"Fine. So I'll go by your place after work and drop them off when I visit tonight."

"Thanks Lanie. I couldn't send Castle and I didn't want to send my dad."

"I understand. I got to go, but I'll see you this afternoon."

"Bye Lanie."

* * *

When Castle finally showed up a couple hours later Kate was both excited and nervous. She was having to concentrate not to let her thoughts roam.

"How are you doing Kate?" Castle asked as he sat down. He placed his hand on the bed and searched out her hand and laid his on top of hers. He always enjoyed the smile she showed when they touched.

"So, Castle, that offer to the Hamptons still good?"

Castel froze. He had planned for the answer. Had dreamed about it actually. He had hoped she would accept but he is still shocked. His mouth hangs open uselessly. _YES! SHE SAID YES! Of course it is. Let's leave right now, I'll get the car._

"Castle! Rick. While you are very cute when you are flustered, I won't be released for two more days. I won't be allowed to go back to work for at least two months. Even then it will be all desk duty. I assumed it still stood so I've asked Lanie to bring me a bag to take with me when we go."

"That's great."

"I'm glad you think so, but we need to talk about some things first."

"We have a lot to talk about. Where do you want to start?"

_Like all your stories, at the beginning. I'm still weak Castle. I have a lot of physical therapy to get through before I'm back to where I was. I'm going to need space while I do it. I'm not hiding, but I would like to keep a little of my pride if you don't' mind._

"Of course. That's why I invited you so that you could get ready in peace and I would know that you were alright. I just want to help."

"I know you do. We need to talk about us as well."

_She said 'us'._

"Focus Rick." But she couldn't help but smile at his excitement at such a simple phrase. "Yes, us. I want there to be an us. These last few weeks show me that we deserve that, but I'm going to need time. I'm going to stay in the guest bedroom. Even though we are in the same house it will be more like dating and we will go to our own places at the end of the day."

"I'm not doing this to pressure you Kate. I'm trying to rush into anything. I'm certainly not trying to get you into bed." _Well eventually, but not right now. NO! Not eventually. Not that I don't want to. I mean I want to, but this isn't the right time. You mean more to me that just some conquest, Kate. I'll move at whatever pace you want to._

"I know. I just want everything out in the open. We've had enough misunderstandings, don't you think?"

"Yes. More than enough."

"Good, then we understand each other."

"Yes."

_Oh and for the record, I want to too, but a lot sooner that eventually._ Kate was rewarded with a choking noise from Castle.


	7. One Step Back

**This one is quite as happy go lucky as the last, but I felt this need to be dealt with. Just remember that this Kate isn't the same one that ran and his for three months so things work out a little differently.**

**Thanks everyone for following. I'm hope I'm still delivering.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Castle.**

* * *

Castle was still asleep on the fold out couch when Kate woke the next morning. She looked at the clock and saw that breakfast would be by in the next thirty minutes. She decided to let Castle sleep until breakfast made it. After that he could go home and shower while she ate breakfast and when to physical therapy. She was reaching for the remote for the TV when something in the hall crashed to the floor. It didn't sound like crashing plates and trays to Kate, it sounded like a rifle shot. Instantly she was transported back to the cemetery. She could feel the shot tear through her body, the pain and the heat as traveled toward her heart. She felt Castle hit her from the side and both of them crash to the ground. She could see the panic and desolation in his eyes as everything slowly went black.

Castle bolted awake when he heard Kate scream. He threw off the blanket and leapt toward the bed. Her eyes were wide open but he could tell that she wasn't seeing him or anything else in the room. Her breathing was heavy and erratic and all the muscles in her body had locked. Castle noticed as he grabbed her hand that heart and blood pressure monitor were beeping wildly.

"Kate. Kate. Kate everything is alright." _Kate, can you hear me? It's alright. I'm right here. Kate?_

This wasn't like her dream. He couldn't get to her. Her panic had locked him out completely. He couldn't even tell what it was she was seeing in her mind that had led to this. Moments later, two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room. Even though he didn't want to he knew he had to back up out of there way.

"What happened?" The doctor asked moving around him to get to Kate.

"I don't know. She screamed and then just sort of zoned out. I don't know what happened."

"Detective Beckett. Detective Beckett can you hear me." The doctor looked at the nurse. "She's having panic attack." He turned back to the monitors. Her heart rate and pressure were starting to come down.

Kate blinked her eyes a couple of times and looked around the room. "What happened? Am I alright?"

"Detective Beckett, you had a panic attack. It caused your blood pressure and pulse to spike which made us think something medical had happened. I want to check your wound sites to make sure nothing has been damaged. After you get a better handle on your breathing that is."

Kate took a deep breath. _There was a sound, like a rifle shot. I relived the whole shooting again. I felt the bullet… _Kate looked around the room to find Castle. As soon as she saw his eyes, even filled with the concern and worry, they instantly made her feel better. _I felt it hit me. I felt the grass, the pain. I saw your face._

_Shhh. You are alright now. Be calm. Let the doctor work._

Kate closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing.

"Mr. Castle, we are going to have to remove her top to check her incisions…"

"Oh, of course. I'll wait in the hall."

Kate spoke softly "He can stay. It's fine. He's going to be helping me when I'm discharged anyway."

The doctor nodded at Kate and began pulling up her shirt and carefully removing the bandages. The doctor carefully checked each of the stitches on her side before checking the bandage on her chest. "Everything looks fine Detective. As long as your blood pressure stays steady for the next two hours everything will be fine."

Kate nodded her head. All she really wanted to do was be left alone. She knew that wouldn't happen with Castle here, and she wasn't sure if being alone was the best thing for her.

"Would you like something to help you rest?" the doctor asked.

"No, no. I think I'm fine now. I feel bad for scaring everyone. All over a silly noise."

"You've had quite the trauma Detective. There are more than just physical scars left after something like this. Trust me. I did two tours in Iraq. You are doing remarkably well all things considered." He turned and looked at Castle as well. "Well, now that everything seems to be back to normal, I'll leave you to get breakfast." With that the doctor left the room.

Castel and Beckett watched as the doctor followed the two nurses out of the room and closed the door. Kate wanted to cry. Kate needed to cry. She really didn't want to cry in front of Castle. Too late.

_It was just a stupid noise Castle and I curled up like a baby! How am I going to be a cop again acting like that?_

_Kate. Calm down. If your heart rate and blood pressure spike they will sedate you._

Kate took a deep breath through her nose and out through her mouth. Just like she did when doing any physical exercise.

_You will get through this. I will help you anyway I can._

_Castle, this wasn't just a panic attack, you know that right? Panic attacks, nightmares, and paranoia? Those are all symptoms of PTSD._

"Paranoia? What paranoia?"

"Rick, there is a sniper out there gunning for me. I don't want to go outside. Why do you think I was going to flee the city? Why do you think I tried to push everyone away to keep you all safe?"

"Then we get you help."

"I've already been given a doctor I have to speak to so I can return to duty anyway." She saw the questioning look in Castle's face. "Standard policy. Anyone involved in a shooting has to have a chat with the psychologist to be cleared again. This will just be another hurtle I have to clear on the way back." Kate sighed.

Rick stepped over, grabbed her hand, and bent down to kiss her temple. It was one of the little signs of affection he had started giving her recently. He wasn't sure it was to make her feel better or himself. "You will get through this. I'll help you in any way that I can."

"I hope this doesn't push back my release date. I can't stay here much longer Castle. I hate it here." _I can't believe I just said that, out loud, no less._ _When did I become incapable of keeping my mouth shut?_

"I know. The doctor said as long as you heart reading look good everything should be alright. I'll talk to them before I leave." _You don't have to hide from me Kate. Not anymore. Everyone needs help now and again. Even the badass Detective Beckett._

_What about the broken Kate?_

"There isn't a broken Kate. There is just the healing Kate, and she gets whatever she wants."

Kate looked up and smiled for the first time that day. "I want a pony."

"Done."

At that moment there was a knock at the door. An orderly entered with breakfast. He quickly set out the tray and then left the room exchanging only the necessary pleasantries.

"Well, breakfast has arrived and that's my cue to leave." Castle rose from this chair picking up his coat.

"You mind if you don't? I could use a little time, with you. I really don't want to be alone right now. Stay until they come and get me for therapy."

Castle sat back down in the chair. "Whatever you want." He remained quiet while she ate breakfast. After cleaning the tray she pushed the little service table away and leaned back in the bed.

"They should come to get me for therapy soon. Thanks for staying."

"You act like I didn't want to." As if on queue the doctor and physical therapist walked into the room. The doctor spoke first.

"Detective Beckett, it is time for physical therapy. However, if you don't want to participate today, you don't have to."

Kate looked the doctor straight in the eye. "I don't want to delay leaving here in anyway Doctor. I'll do therapy."

She slowly got off the bed and sat down in the provided wheelchair. Castle followed the doctor and the therapist pushing Kate out of the room. As they made it to the elevators Kate reached out and grabbed Castle's arm.

"See you soon?"

"Count on it."

With that the elevator doors opened and Castle entered as he was Kate wheeled down the hall.


	8. Girl Talk

**The next chapter. I was going to go ahead and get them to the Hamptons, but I felt one more scene was needed. Next time I promise to have Beckett up and around. And Castle driving her mad.**

**Thanks everyone for sticking with me. I really appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Kate sat in her bed reading a book. She was currently reading the latest Patterson novel, much to Castle's chagrin. In truth she had "Flowers For You Grave" tucked under her pillow. Her father had snuck it in the very first visit. Castle didn't need to know that though. She figured his ego had had enough stroking recently.

Castle sat in the corner typing away furiously at his keyboard. His writing was going amazingly well. Kate was alive, getting better, and he was spending more time with her than he could have hoped for. What about that wasn't inspiring?

Lanie walked into the room with a bag over her shoulder about 7:00 PM. "What's up girl?" Lanie walked over to Kate after setting the bag next to the bed, she leaned over and hugged her friend. "I brought you the things you asked for, plus, you know."

Castle's ears perked up at that. He had been quietly typing away at his lap top until that moment. "Hey Lanie."

Kate didn't think he had noticed Lanie walk in. His belated greeting proved it. Of course he would hear her mention her clothing.

_What's the plus, Beckett?_

"Thanks Lanie, I really appreciate it. So how are things going?"

_What's the plus, Beckett?_

"The same things as always. Not as interesting without you there." She pointed toward Castle "Not as annoying without him there."

"Ah, Lanie, I didn't know you cared."

_What's the plus, Beckett?_

"Any interesting cases Lanie?" Beckett was trying to ignore Castle.

_What's the plus, Beckett?_

"Nu uh, girl. You are not going to drag information out of me. You are resting and getting better. You are going to go away on a nice vacation" Beckett went to interrupt but Lanie refused to stop talking "…a vacation since you never go anywhere ever, then this is a vacation. It just happens that you won't be as mobile as you would have hoped."

_What's the plus, Beckett?_

Kate finally snapped. "Castle, why don't you go downstairs and grab yourself some dinner." Her eyes blazed green boring into Castle's blue ones giving the order force. "Lanie and I need a little girl talk."

Castle wasn't going to anger her. He had pushed his luck and decided to exist the field of battle but not before a parting shot. _Then you tell me what the plus is?_

_NO!_

The smile that Castle flashed Lanie and Kate as he left the room was completely genuine and reached his eyes. Kate tried not to smile back but she was just too happy with the whole situation to really be upset about it.

Lanie turned and watch Castle leave the room. "Girl, you are in no shape for that kind of eye foreplay. You need to pace yourself if you want to survive your time away with writer-boy."

"Lanie, it is not a vacation. Like I said, Castle and I haven't even talked about what we are or aren't yet. I would like to get out of the hospital before tackling the heavy subjects. Speaking of which, can you sit down. I want to tell you before you find out from someone else." Lanie took the chair next to Kate's bed. "I think I have PTSD. I had a panic attack this morning from somebody dropping trays in the hall. All I heard was a gun shot and I relived the whole experience from shot to blackness right here in this bed. I set off the monitors. Doctors and nurses rushed in the room to see what happened. Castle saw the whole thing Lanie. He saw the whole thing Lanie."

"Kate, honey, I'm so sorry. What did Castle say?"

"He was supportive, as usual, but how much can I expect him to keep taking when I need to dump on someone. I'm a mess. I don't want to make him a mess too. He has Alexis and Martha to take care of. He can't dump everything for me."

"Don't you think that's a decision that you need to let him make Kate? He's a grown man who can think for himself. You can't make decisions for him, especially important decision like whether or not he can take care of you. You want something with him?"

"No Lanie. I want everything with him. Everything."

"Well then you are going to have to trust him, depend on him, and let him take care of you."

Kate stared at her fingers for a few moments while playing with her nails. "He told me he loved me Lanie. It was the last thing I heard before everything went black. It was the first thing I remembered when I came too. He loves me. I love him and I'm scared."

"Of course you are. Love is a scary thing. It makes us weak, vulnerable, and do dumb things. It also makes us strong, makes us whole, and makes life worth living. Love can make us complete. If you want to be complete, you are going to have to take a chance on love with Castle. He's already taken a chance on you."

That brought a slight smile to Kate's face. He had taken a chance, in so many ways. "Yeah, he did didn't he?" In an effort to lighten the mood and change the subject Kate asked Castle's question. "So what did you pack as the plus."

Lanie's eyes lit up at the question and she walked over to the bag. She turned around so that Kate couldn't see what she was removing. After extracting her prize, Lanie turned and showed it to Kate.

Kate's face went pink, then red, then dark crimson. "LANIE! How did you find that? I can't wear that. Especially that."

Lanie let out a pealing laugh. "Why not? It's cotton. It won't bother any of your scars. It's doesn't have lace, leather, straps, or buckles. It's quite perfect."

"I am not wearing that. Ever."

"You keep singing that song. I bet this comes out to play as soon as the stitches come out."

Another furious blush adorned Kate's face and she hid her head in her hands. "I can't even believe you knew I owned that."

"Oh I didn't. This wasn't what I was intending to bring. I was getting you yoga pants and sweat shirts when I found this carefully folded into a sweat shirt in the back of the draw. The minute I saw it I knew it was the perfect plus outfit."

"Put it back in the bag Lanie. I don't want to take any chance that Castle finds out that I own that. It would be unbearable."

Lanie sighed but gently folded the item back up and stuck it at the bottom of the bag. She arranged it in such a way that a casual glance would not reveal that it was anything special. Castle's curiosity was legendary at the precinct. She didn't think that bag would make it out of the room without at least a small investigation from the writer.

"Alright. Well I've got to get home. I'm on call this week and it was a long day. Are they still letting you out in 48 hours?"

"Yep. The doctors say everything is better than can be expected. I don't know who's more excited, me to get out of here or Castle to whisk me away to the Hamptons."

Lanie leaned over and gave her a hug. "Writer-boy is more excited. He's waited years to whisk you away to the Hamptons and now he has the added bonus of you not being able to run away."

"Shut up Lanie."

"Bye Kate." With that Lanie turned and left the room.

Kate picked up her book and began to read waiting for the return of her writer.

* * *

**Yes I know exactly what Lanie brought. I wasn't being vague to mess with you. I want to surprise everyone with it later.**


	9. Road Trip

**Here is the next chapter. Over a hundred followers, I'm honored. I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter. On our way to the Hamptons, finally.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

_What is taking so long? I could have booked a suspect by now._

"Relax, Kate. It's just now 8:30. Even if we don't leave here until ten we still get to the beach house by five. We will be just in time to pick up some dinner and sit down and relax for the night."

"While I'm a little excited about getting to the Hamptons, Castle, my main drive here is to get out of this hospital. The destination is the secondary concern."

Castle was about to say something else but decided against it. Kate's impatience was quickly turning into aggravation. He couldn't blame her. She had been in the hospital for three weeks. He wasn't sure she had ever been indoors that long, much less in one room that long.

Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in.

"Detective Beckett, I'll be sorry to see you leave, but I'm glad you are recovering so quickly."

"It doesn't feel quickly." Kate grumped. "Sorry. Just getting a little stir crazy. Thank you for everything."

"Absolutely no need to apologize. I understand your feelings completely, so I won't delay this any longer." The nurse stepped forward and handed Castle a folder. "Those contain your discharge papers, medication instructions, physical therapy schedule, and instruction for care of the wound site." The doctor swiped at the screen of his tablet a few times. "And that is it. Trevor, "the door opened and the orderly entered the room, "will take you to the entrance."

Castle reached out his hand. "Thank you doctor, for everything." He turned to the nurse and orderly and thanked them as well. He then turned to Kate. "I will go pull the car around and see you down stairs."

As Kate gently lowered herself into the wheelchair for the ride to the lobby she was far too happy to be leaving to put too much thought into the fact she didn't have the strength to walk to the elevator and then through the lobby to the car. Ok, if she was honest with herself she was excited about going to the Hamptons, especially with Castle. Good thing he wasn't close enough to hear her excited thoughts.

As they rode the elevator down to the lobby Kate looked back at Trevor. "I'd say I'm going to miss you but I'm entirely too happy to be leaving here. But thank you very much for all of your help and especially your patience when I first came to. I know I'm not the best patient."

"Detective, you aren't even the worst person I've had to deal with this week."

"You are an incredibly sweet liar. I respect that."

"You are welcome."

As the elevator doors opened on the lobby, Castle was right there bouncing on the balls of his feet. He so reminded her of a kid desperately trying to hold it together on Christmas morning. The problem with that analogy was that she would be the present he desperately wanted to unwrap.

_And I have the perfect gift wrap._ Oh, crap. How had she let that slip out?

_The perfect gift wrap for what, Beckett?_

_For the gifts I'm going to buy the doctor, nurses, and therapist for all the help they gave me. It has little tiny red crosses on it._

"Neat." Castle turned to Trevor. "Alright if I take her from here?"

Trevor stepped out of the way, "Of course."

Castle stepped up behind the wheel chair and began pushing Kate toward the front of the hospital.

"Did you bring the Ferrari Castle?" Kate asked with a little excitement in her voice.

"I thought about it. I decided against it. I figured comfort would be the word of the day. I brought the Mercedes. It has seat warmers, seat coolers, lumbar support, and they lean back. I figured you could get some sleep on the trip up."

Leave it to Castle to think about her comfort first. Any disappointment she had about the absence of the Ferrari immediately went away. "Well then, since you had my wellbeing in mind, I guess I can forgive you."

"Why thank you, my lady. Your graciousness knows no bounds."

"Push the chair, Castle."

"Pushing."

When they got to the car Castle opened the door and turned around to help Kate. She was already raising up out of the chair.

Kate instantly saw the worry on Castle's face. "Castle don't worry. I'll do my best not to fall." _Just stay close. I would prefer not to face plant right here in front of the hospital._

"That will most assuredly not happen." Castle watched her anxiously. As she winced sitting down in the car Castle mimicked the action. After a few moments she took a deep breath and visibly relaxed.

"I'm fine." _Now._ "I'll just sit here and relax a little bit."

Castle closed the door and ran around to the driver's side door and hopped in. "And away we go." Castle accelerated smoothly out of the hospital drive and into traffic. "Our flight time today will be a little over five hours. The weather is clear and we have a nice tail wind, so it should be a very smooth flight."

"Is there an inflight movie?"

"Movie? The entertainment on this trip is no mere movie. The entertainment on the flight will be brought to you by a ruggedly handsome, world famous, best-selling author…"

"James Patterson is in the backseat?" Kate smirked at Rick's crestfallen look.

"I will pretend that I didn't hear that. Anyway, I'm your entertainment."

"I thought this was first class? Where's the cocktail?"

"You aren't cleared for cocktails yet." Castle glanced over at Kate and saw that she was already leaning the seat back. "Nice, huh?"

"Oh yeah. These seats are pretty first class and the warmer is really nice. It's taking care of the knot that is always there in the morning." Kate wiggled a little to get more comfortable but not enough to cause any discomfort.

"Let's just suspend the entertainment for now. Why don't you get some rest?"

"That's sounds like a good idea." Kate tried to stifle a yawn.

Four minutes later Kate was resting comfortably in the passenger seat. Castle kept stealing little glances at Kate as she slept. She always looked so at peace when she slept. It was the only time that the horrible weight that rested on her shoulders seemed to lift. It was a shame that he couldn't reach over and just caress her face, but he was afraid if he started doing that he would get distracted and crash the car.

It was roughly an hour later when Castle's very creative mind became very bored and began wandering. He started thinking about entering Kate's dream that first night in an attempt to calm her down. He began to wonder if he could influence Kate's dreams without actually going in. He didn't' want to do anything bad, he just really, really needed to know. Kate would kill him if she ever found out.

_Dancing hippos in sundresses._

_Dancing hippos in sundresses._

_Dancing hippos in sundresses._

Castle couldn't help the smile that started forming on his face. If this worked it would be both amazing and incredibly frightening. It was also frightening to think what she would do if she every figured out what he had done.

Traffic was heavier in the city than Rick had suspected, so they didn't arrive until almost six pm. As he pulled to a stop in front of the house he took a moment to admire the woman beside him again before waking her. Her nap on the drive up had been peaceful and devoid of the nightmares that haunted her nights.

"Kate. Kate."

Kate came to conscious slowly. Her first realization was sunlight on her skin, so she wasn't in the hospital anymore. Happiness washing over her she opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was the house. Well, it was doing a bad impression of a house. It was clearly a hotel of some sort dressed up to look like a house, a very beautiful house.

"Wow, Castle, this is an amazing place." _I forget that you are rich._

"I know you do. It's one of the things about you that I really like. Come on, I can give you the tour." Castle got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side. He opened the door for Kate and was about to say something, but decided to simply hold out his hand instead.

Kate reached out without thinking about it and allowed Castle to help her out of the car. She could feel the soreness and tug of the stiches from sitting still for so long. Normally her physical therapy would have stretched out the muscles and skin and she would feel so stiff. She didn't realize she had winced until she saw the reaction on Rick's face.

_I'm stiff and sore, Rick. I'm going to be stiff, sore, and in different levels of pain for a while. You can't frown every time I wince._

"I can't promise anything, but I will definitely try to stop the frowning."

"Good."

"But there will absolutely be lots of concerned looks, adoring gazes, creepy staring, and, if you play your cards right, outright leering."

"How is that any different than any day since I first met you?"

"I've never admitted to the leering before."

Kate began taking the steps slowly up to the front door. "You don't have to admit to it, everyone can see you do it. Sometimes it is embarrassing."

"And the rest of the time?"

"It's pathetic." There was no venom in the retort and her eyes were alive with humor and mischief.

"You wound me." Castle said placing his free hand over his heart in mock pain.

Walking into the front hall, Kate had to admit, if only to herself that they house was even more amazing on the inside than the outside.

"Do you want the grand tour or is there a place you would like to see?"

"How about this kitchen? It's been awhile sense breakfast."

"Anything in particular you want?"

"I've seen you create meals from what was sitting around in my bare kitchen. With what you have here, dazzle me."

"Follow me this way" Castle made his way to the kitchen.

Kate had always been a little envious of Castle's refrigerator at the loft. It was one of those nice big industrial versions that could hold a complete restaurant. The thing couldn't even fit in the kitchen in her knew place. If she could admit she was envious of that refrigerator then this massive, not quite walk in, made the green monster come out like the incredible hulk.

With his head stuck in the refrigerator so she could only see from the shoulders back.

"You want fancy or comfy?"

"What's your favorite food, Castle?"

"I like cheeseburgers." He responded immediately.

"Let's have cheeseburgers"

Castle started pulling out everything he needed to make hamburgers. As he moved around the kitchen he turned to Kate. "I've been meaning to ask, you were mumbling in your sleep on the way up here. Were you having nightmares?"

"Nightmares? No not nightmares, but the dreams were just weird. Not like anything I've ever had?"

"What, like you walked into an interrogation room without your power heels? No, I know, you opened your refrigerator and didn't see any Styrofoam?"

"Nope, those would be normal compared to what I was dreaming?"

"Yea, come on and tell me."

"You have to promise to never tell anyone, ever."

"Scouts honor." Castle pledged.

"Spare me Castel. It was dancing hippos. Dancing hippos in sundresses. It looked like a club that I hit one time working in vice. Everything was just like the bust except all the dancers were hippos in sundresses. The hippos were weird but the club wouldn't have ever let in someone with a sundress, metal and leather were mandatory." She caught the gleam in Castle eyes. "No, I'm not going to tell you about the club, the bust, or what we were doing there."

Castle did everything he could not to smile and then turned away when he thought he might fail.

Kate knew the instant he turned that he had done it. She didn't know how, but she was certain. The dream was just too bizarre and outside anything she had ever had, even on the pain killers. Oh, revenge was going to be sweat. Castle was going to have a very long, long night. She smiled at Castle as he turned back to her. She almost felt sorry for him, but not enough to not take revenge.


	10. Dream Warrior

**Thank you for the continued support. **

**I hope Kate's revenge lives up to everyone's expectations. Everyone here has such great imaginations I'm sure there are hundreds of much better ideas currently reading this story.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle.**

* * *

The hamburgers were excellent. It occurred to her after her first bite that this was the first nonhospital food she had eaten since the shooting. She shivered a little at the thought and immediately looked up at Castle. Of course he was watching her.

_Go ahead, ask._

_What was the little shiver about?_

_I just realized this is the first real food I've had since the shooting._ She shivered again. _Still not used to talking about it._

_Talking is supposed to make it easier, but it has only been three weeks. Everything is still raw, both emotionally and physically. Just take it slow._

_Slow, Castle?_

_Ok, not slow, slow, more like Kate Beckett slow which for the rest of us mere mortals is super human._

Kate swallowed. "I admitted I loved you Castle, you don't have to flatter me."

"It's not flattery Kate. It's the truth. Only the truth."

She blushed despite herself. "Then I will accept your compliment and simply say thank you."

"You are welcome."

As they finished there burgers Castle began cleaning up the kitchen. As he washed the dishes he turned his head toward Kate, "It's been a long day. I'm game for just sitting down and watching movies."

"What, are you going back on your offer of a tour?"

"Right, the tour. Of course. Well, you have seen the kitchen, so let's complete the downstairs portion."

Kate was amazed at the house. The den with the amazing fireplace and two sofas bigger than her bed at home simply screamed lounge her all day. The entertainment system in the den cost more than her motorcycle. There was study that looked more like a library. She couldn't wait to go through the collection of books. What she tried to stop was the squealing fan girl in the back of her brain screaming about how so many of her favorite books and characters were written right here. She refused to squeal, not in front of people, and certainly not in front of Castle. The formal dining room was the sort of thing she remembered not thinking existed when she use to see them on TV shows as a child. Obviously, she was very wrong. There was also a formal living room that didn't look as if it had ever been used.

"Do people ever actually come in here?" She asked looking around the room.

"Mother likes using it when she has friends over. I personally like the den better. More comfort and more electronics."

"Of course." That's when it hit Kate. "Castle, what do you do up here? You are always up to something, into something. Here there isn't the city. How do you cope?"

"You are going to be shocked by this I know, but there are times that I just like to relax and be. And I know this is the Hamptons, but it is still nice to be away from the hustle and bustle of the city."

Kate looked skeptical.

"Seriously."

She gave him a smile. She was getting tired and stretched right up until the pain hit. She sucked in a breath as the pain hit.

"And you've overdone it for the day Kate." Castle said grabbing her elbow as she curled in on the pain. "Maybe it's time for you to lay down, get some sleep."

"Yeah. I think you are right." Kate realized her mistake immediately. "Alright, that was a slip up because of the pain and exhaustion and if you are gentlemen you won't hold it against me."

"When have I ever been a gentlemen?"

"Hope springs eternal."

Castle helped her up the stairs to the guest bedroom. Both of them knew she was going to need help to get out of her clothes and change the bandages, but neither was sure how to start the conversation. Kate decided to break the stalemate.

_Alright Castle, we both know what has to happen, it's why I'm here so you can help, and we are both adults._

"So now I'm an ad…"

"CASTLE!" _Pain and exhaustion, remember._

_Right._

Castle cleared his throat and reached for the hem of Kate's shirt. Kate closed her eyes as he pulled the shirt up and helped her get her good arm free, over her head, and then down her bad arm. Kate still didn't open her eyes as Rick began moving the bandages. She didn't know if it would be worse if he was staring or not staring. She felt the bandage on her side come off.

"The stiches look good and the swelling has gone down even from yesterday. Everything looks really good." _And I mean everything._

Kate bit the inside of her cheek. She wasn't sure whether she was trying not to smile or just be quiet. She knew he didn't mean to let that slip. She hoped he didn't see her blush even though she could feel slight heat in her face. Apparently he hadn't because she felt a new bandage being applied without comment or hesitation.

"Now let's see about that other one."

Kate bit her cheek a little harder, bracing herself. It was right in the middle of her chest, there was absolutely no way he couldn't look. She didn't want to say anything rude. He was helping her, caring for her, protecting her. Somewhere in the part of her that she buried deep at the age of nineteen she reveled in the feeling.

"This one is doing even better than your side." _I'll need to turn the air down I didn't think it was that cold in here._

He had to be nervous. That was the only reason that thought could have possibly slipped out. She released her cheek from between her teeth and opened her eyes. "It's not the temperature Castle. Now can you please concentrate on putting on the bandage?"

"Oh crap! Kate, I'm sorry. It just slipped. I wasn't looking. Well I was…It's. Not. The. Temperature?"

She used her good arm to reach up and touch the side of his face. "Shhh. It's fine. I admit I'm a little embarrassed by the predicament, but I'm just as nervous as you are. This isn't exactly how I pictured the first couple times you would see me without a shirt on."

"So you've thought about it?"

"Oh yeah. Now, we don't need to have this conversation every time we do this. You will look, you will comment, unconsciously of course, and I will blush. However, there is absolutely no reason for either one of us to be embarrassed." She leaned forward and kissed the very edge of his mouth. "We will talk more about this tomorrow, I promise. And when I'm better? Well. "She dropper her hand to play with the fine hairs at the back of his head and looked at him through sparkling eyes. "Right now, just help me finish getting ready for bed."

The rest of the routine went without incident. Kate laid down on the guest bed, settling deeply into the soft mattress and high thread count cotton sheets.

_A girl could get use to this._

"I heard that and I hope that you do."

_You were supposed to._

"Good night, Kate." Castle said heading toward the door.

"Good night Castle. Sweet dreams."

If Castle had seen the look on her face as she uttered her final sentence he would have known he was in trouble.

* * *

Kate awoke four hours later when her phone beeped. She rolled over and checked the time. Castle should absolutely be asleep by now. She laid there for a moment gathering herself because rolling out of the bed was going to hurt. She slowly rolled onto her good side and then pushed herself into a sitting position. The physical therapy was obviously paying off.

She got out of the bed, walked to the door, and entered the hall. Looking both ways she could see Castle's room doors closed at the end of the hall. The thick carpeting made her steps down the hall completely silent. Reaching his door she came to the hardest part of the operation. From her time staying at the loft after the bombing she knew he was a heavy sleeper. It would be just her luck for him to wake up when his door opened. She turned the handle, cracked the door open, and slipped into the room.

She waited a few minutes for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The first thing she noticed was a small sitting area near sliding glass doors going out to a deck. She sat down in the large chair and lifted her feet up onto the ottoman.

Now, how had Castle done this? She stared at him trying to see his thoughts. After a few minutes it became apparent that this was not working. Maybe she was trying too hard. Maybe this was like shooting. If you concentrated too hard you started to shake and over think everything, completely destroying your ability to shoot with any precision. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes allowing her mind to wander. After a few minutes she began to see images in her mind.

* * *

_Castle watched the speedometer run up to hundred miles an hour. The Batmobile was one amazing machine. He was on his way to help Catwoman. She had called for a meeting claiming information about something big going down in Gotham. He slammed the brakes and opened the cockpit roof. He vaulted from the car and used his grappling hook to ascend to the top of the ten story building. Catwoman was already there waiting. Of course she would be early. She marched toward him in six inch heels and leather. As she got closer he could smell the cherries._

"_You called this meeting." He said in a dark low voice._

"_Well, yes I did, but it's possible that I really don't have any information."_

"_Are you wasting my time?"_

"_Never." She stalked forward and grabbed his head and pulled him into a long, slow kiss._

_Castle toes curled and his head exploded. He pulled his head back to look in her eyes._

"_MEREDITH!" He began back pedaling. He fell over the sofa. Sofa? He was back in the loft._

"_Want to try for a top ten, Kitten?"_

"_NO! No. I do not. Go away. Away." He turned in a circle and the loft was empty again._

_He put his hands over his head and took a deep breath. "Thank goodness." When he brought his hands down he was in a club. It was the club where he went undercover with Beckett to get that drug dealer. There she was on the dance floor in that sinful blue dress. He had dreamed and thought about her in that dress for months. Out of the dress even. She turned and looked at him, caught him looking at her swinging backside, and began to walk back toward him. His throat went dry, his palms went sweaty, and his blood went south. As she neared him she grabbed his hand and pressed her body up against him._

"_Hello Castle." She whispered into his ear. "See anything you like?"_

"_Oh yeah."_

"_Well?"_

_He ran his hands through her hair and tipped her head back. He leaned down and placed his mouth over hers, closing his eyes. Instantly something felt wrong his eyes sprang open._

"_BECKETT!"_

* * *

Castle sprang awake in bed. He instantly heard giggling mixed with small noises of pain coming from the sitting area.

"I just kissed a hippo wearing a sundress."

"I know. She was very attracted to you. She seemed like such a nice girl." Kate responded and immediately began another fit of giggles.

"I had that coming."

"Oh yes you did." She was starting to calm down. "You shouldn't mess with someone else's dreams."

"Consider my lesson learned. I will never influence your dreams for my amusement ever again."

"Good." Kate stood up from the chair with obvious effort. "Now, help me back to bed."

Even in the darkness she could see him wiggle his eyebrows.

_My bed._

_Kill joy._


	11. The Morning After

**This is addicting. Every time I finish a chapter, I wonder what I'm going to right next and then things just start falling into the place. Not to mention the instant gratification of follows, favorites, and reviews. Thanks everyone who is reading. I hope you keep enjoying the story.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Castle.**

* * *

Kate awoke slowly, the memory of her dream still fixed in her mind. She had had dreams before but this one had been ridiculous. She could still feel the flush in her face, chest, and, well, everywhere. Apparently wild child Beckett was still somewhere in her repressed mind. Even that didn't explain the insanity that had been her dream. Sleeping in the same house with Castle after admitting her feelings was complete messing with her cool. She was going to have to calm herself. She went through the process of rolling over and leveraging herself to a sitting position. She stood up and walked to the in suite bathroom and turned on the faucet. She splashed water on her face and looked into the mirror.

"Well, at least I don't look like I was just ravaged." She took a deep breath. She was good enough to go do stairs and look like she had a relaxing night's sleep.

* * *

Castle grunted awake. Now that was a dream. It would be illegal if it had happened anywhere else but in his mind. Now he just needed to get himself in some sort of presentable state. He couldn't very well go down with what Kate called "the just got laid" look. That would lead to questions that he absolutely didn't want to answer. That would be more than just embarrassing.

He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He decided while brushing his teeth that a shower was in order. Hopefully the cold water would tamp down any remaining thoughts of the dreams he had experienced.

When Castle finally made it to the kitchen, Kate was sitting on a stool at the counter bar drinking a coffee and reading a book. He noticed with some dissatisfaction that it wasn't one of his books.

"Morning." He said entering the room. "I see you won the battle with the coffee machine."

Kate grimaced as she set down the book. "It spit out brown liquid but I wouldn't call it coffee. Three years and I still can't make that stupid thing work the way I want it to. I'm pretty sure it hates me."

"This one? It's doesn't even know you. Now, the one at the precinct, it hates you. You rigged it to explode. It took it personally."

"So, how did you sleep?" Kate asked.

"You mean after I was assaulted by a hippo." Castle said with mock distain.

Kate smiled broadly letting her eyes shine "Yes, after you broke the pretty girl's heart."

"Wonderful, thank you very much. Yourself?"

"Pretty good. Revenge is always a great way to end an evening."

"I'll have to try it some time. I prefer my evenings to end other ways."

"Subtle Castle, real subtle. I thought you were a ladies man." Kate jabbed.

Castle's mouth kicked into gear before his brain did. "Well you weren't complaining in my dreams."

"Excuse me?" Kate's eyes narrowed at him.

"Nothing."

"Castle, did you dream about me last night?"

Rick knew that there had to be a trap here of some sort but he didn't know what it was. He decided to go with honesty. "I dream about you all the time Kate."

Kate felt a shiver run down her spine. She wasn't sure whether it was excitement or embarrassment but she had a hunch and she was going to follow through with it. "So, in this dream, what happened?"

"I'm not sure you want me to go into detail about it, Kate."

"I'm not sure I want you to." That was a lie, she wanted him to. _It started in my apartment, moved to the loft, the captain's desk, the Ferrari, the desk in your office, the space station, a sail boat, and then here._

Castle's mouth dropped open. "I swear that I didn't invade your dream on purpose."

"I don't think it was an invasion Castle, I think we shared. The Ferrari and your desk were fantasies of mine. I don't have to ask whose the space station was."

"Yeah, that's kind of obvious, isn't it? Wait, the Ferrari, the desk? How long?"

"Castle, seriously? That's what you are taking from this? How long I've had specific fantasies?"

"I am a guy, Kate."

"No, that sort of ammunition you don't get. You just got to experience them in high definition immersive surround sound. The few secrets I have left I'm keeping." She shot her best winning smile at Castle.

"You keep your secrets. It's more fun having a challenge. So we just bumped into one another's dreams?"

"I don't think we just bumped into one another. I think we found one another. We heard one another dreaming and sought each other out." She saw the look on Rick's face change. "What Castle? Spit it out."

"So does that count? As the first time I mean?"

"No. It absolutely does not count. I'm a traditional girl Castle. I expect you to put in the work." She lowered her eyes. "It was pretty great though."

"Yes. Yes it was." He stuck is chest out and strutted around the kitchen.

"Down boy." She laughed. "I should have known something was up with the whole space station thing." Kate said rolling her eyes. "You've seen Moonraker to many times, Castle."

"OK, first, there is no such thing as seeing a James Bond film to many times, it just can't happen. Second, who doesn't want to be in a James Bond movie? It would be epically awesome!"

"I wouldn't."

Castle looked at her like his dog had been shot, run over, and then served to him for dinner. "You can't be serious. Everyone, I mean everyone, wants to be in a James Bond movie. You would be a great Bond Girl. I can see it now, you, walking out of the surf wearing nothing but a …"

"OK, fine! Not a big part, nothing where my character dies, and I'm fully clothed. Maybe a small roll at the end of the film. I wouldn't want to be pigeon holed as a Bond Girl. I think I would do better on '24'. There is more action and less laying around on the beach for the female characters."

"Yes, because being ogled by millions of adoring fans is so horrible. How would you cope?" Castle brought his hand to his mouth and began tapping his lip with his index finger. "I wonder what your character name would be."

"Castle." Kate didn't like where this was going.

"Hang on, I'm thinking." His eyes suddenly went wide. "Megan Whoopee? No. Nikki 'Legs' Galore? Ooh, I got it, Happy Endings."

"That's a worse stripper name than Nikki Heat."

"Nikki Heat is not a stripper name, but I will concede that Happy Endings is a little over the top."

Kate decided to change subject to something a little less blush worthy. "So, what's for breakfast?"

"Are you kidding? The only appropriate breakfast for this morning is pancakes." Castle turned and wiggled his eyebrows at her. _As a thank you for last night._

Kate felt the heat enter her face. "Great" she thought "I just blushed over breakfast."

Kate went back to reading her book and Castle started flipping pancakes and making bacon.

As Castle started plating the food Kate sat her book down.

"I forgave him Castle. Before you pulled me out of the hangar. I forgave him. I meant it, I really did." _I miss him Castle. So much._

Castle set down the plates and walked around the counter. He wrapped his arms around Kate and pulled her close.

"We all miss him Kate. Everyone. He knows you forgave him. He knows."

By this time the tears that Kate was trying to hold in began to leak out. "He gave his life for me Castle. He traded his life for me and I still got shot. He gave his life for nothing Castle."

Castle grabbed her head with both hands and looked into her eyes. "No Kate, he saved your life. He took out a team of killers that came for you. You are still alive. That is not a sacrifice in vain. He saved your life."

Rick held her as she softly cried into her shoulder. He stroked her hair and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. After a few minutes she began to sniffle. She pulled back her head and looked up and Castle.

"See, this is why I was going to go to Dad's cabin alone. I didn't want anyone, especially you, to see this." She took a napkin and wiped her face. "This this wreck that I am."

Castle embraced her again, letting her lay her head against his chest.

"I couldn't stand for you to go through this alone Kate. It would destroy me. I don't want to be anywhere else but here with you." _I love you Kate._

"I love you too, Rick."


	12. Resting

**I don't if this chapter didn't like me or I didn't like it. I feel like I'm losing the story here. May have to take some time to get things back on track. I certainly hope that everyone is still with me here.**

**Thanks for all the follows and favorites. Remember, reviews feed the imagination and in turn the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Beckett and Castle finished eating breakfast in a comfortable silence. Kate catches Castle throwing glances at her as he eats his pancakes. She really can't blame him. Her mood swings have her disconcerted, she can't even imagine how he is feeling. As she finishes eating she stands up, picks up her plate and sets it in the sink. She walks back over to Castle who is still watching her. She leans in placing her hand on his fore arm. She bends over and places a soft kiss to his temple.

"I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm fine, Castle. A lot has happened."

Castle places his hand on hers. "I know."

"You being here helps. It helps a lot. Thank you for this." She takes her free hand and pats his hand. "I'm going to go upstairs and take a nap. I'm really tired."

"Of course. Of course. You are recovering." He goes to rise from the stool.

"It's fine Castle. I can get back to the room on my own." She smiles at him. "I'll see you for lunch."

With that she leaves the kitchen and heads toward the guest room. She enters the room closing the door behind her. She sit on the bed carefully positioning her body so as not to put strain on the stiches as she lays down. Staring at the ceiling she begins thinking about her day. While she would like to spend quite a bit of time on the dreams from last night she is much more concerned about her roller coaster emotions. They were sitting there having a perfectly fun, enjoyable conversation and out of nowhere she gets hit with the worst sense of loss and depression.

Four weeks ago she would go for a run or work out her frustrations on the bag in the gym. Now, she has to take a nap after eating breakfast because it was so exhausting. She wasn't going to cry about that. She had cried enough today about things that she had no control over. She wasn't going to spend more time on the past.

She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. As her mind wandered, she thought about how much worse things would be right now if she was alone in a cabin in the woods. What had she been thinking? She certainly wouldn't have come out of the situation better. The last thought she had as she faded off was how glad she was that Castle was here.

* * *

Castle finished cleaning up the kitchen. He looked up the stairs considering whether he should check on Kate. He hadn't heard anything so he decided to assume she was and asleep. He certainly didn't want to disturb her rest. He decided to actually accomplish his secondary reason for coming up here, finishing the book.

He walked into the study but never actually made it to the desk. Instead he simply sat down in one of the armchairs. This was the first time he had since leaving the hospital, having Kate somewhere save and comfortable, that he thought through all the things that had happened. He didn't know how it had happened but he thanked anyone listing for the miracle that was sharing thoughts with Kate. It had stopped her from running. It has stopped her from being alone. Selfishly, it has stopped him from being alone. But she was here, upstairs, and resting. He had to chalk it up as good sign and a good start to the day regardless of the obstacles ahead.

As he cleared his mind his curiosity got the better of him. When they had been in their rooms the previous night they couldn't hear one another's thoughts. That was the biggest reason he assumed the dreams were his own. Obviously they weren't. All he could assume was that while asleep they could more easily enter one another's minds. That had certainly been the case in the hospital. He entered her dream easily enough when she had the nightmare. So, it would seem, that not only was entering one another's mind easier when they were asleep, but it also increased the distance they could communicate.

"Maybe I should start sleeping downstairs on the couch." He laughed at himself.

Invading her dreams accidently was one thing, but he didn't think running through her mind every night was going to be conducive to a relationship that had barely started. He also wasn't sure that letting Kate run around in his head at night would be too good for her either. At least the rather heated dreams of last night hadn't hurt their relationship. He was relieved that all the scenarios weren't his. At least Kate's mind was as dirty as his was. He glanced over at the wall clock.

"Wow, one hour, just day dreaming. I've got to get to work. Even for me this sort of procrastination is ridiculous."

* * *

Several hours later Kate awoke. The first thing that occurred to her was that she hadn't had a nightmare.

"Thank you for small blessings."

She could tell from the throbbing in her side that she was due for pain medication. The problem was to do that she had to sit up. That was going to be a problem. It took a monumental effort to roll over and lever herself into a sitting position. After a few deep breaths, well as deep as she could manage, she stood up. Entering the bathroom she took to pain pills, washing them down with a bottle of water. While there she splashed some water on her face. She avoided looking in the mirror. She hadn't done that since she had been shot and she didn't want to start now. Putting down the towel she decided to walk down the stairs and find a book to read. As she approached the study she began to hear the rhythmic tapping of Castle hard at work. She froze in her stride. She didn't want to bother him while he was working, but she really wanted to see him write. The fan girl in her apparently couldn't be controlled while she was groggy from sleep, pain, and medication. She was going to see Richard Castle writing. Even more amazing she was going to see him writing a book inspired by her.

"Calm down Kate. If you don't relax he's going to hear you out here fawning all over him."

She took a deep breath, grabbed the door handle and entered the study. As she crossed the room she didn't say a word, wondering when he would look up. He never did. She could tell that he was completely immersed in the world he was crafting. Alexis and Martha had said when he was working the world could end and he wouldn't notice. She had always assumed they were exaggeration.

"Apparently not."

She sat down in an arm chair along the wall and just watched him work. She imagined that this is what she looked like when working a case. All intensity with no regard for the outside world. He really was in his element. The longer she watched the more she desperately wanted to know the story he was telling. She loved reading his books and knowing that right now the only people that knew anything about what was happening in this story were him and if she played her cards right, her.

Apparently he hit a stopping point, because he looked up and flinched.

"KATE!"

"Hey Castle."

"How long have you been here?"

"Awhile. I did a complete strip tease to see how focused you were in your writing, and I got nothing. I've got to say, you really know how to hurt a girls pride and self-image."

Castle's mouth fell open and his eyes became enormous. "No." He looked at her quizzically. "No, it's not possible. I know that I can get lost in my work, but no way. There is no way that you removed clothing and I didn't noticed. "

Kate shifted in the chair slightly and smiled coyly at him.

"No. I refuse to believe it. I would not have missed that. Ever."

Kate began twirling a strand of hair with her finger and looked at him through her long lashes.

"OH COME ON!"

_Castle, you are so easy. _ Kate began laughing at Castle absolute discomfort.

"That's just evil Kate. E-V-I-L." He closed the lap top and walked around the desk. "So what does it mean that I don't know whether to feel relieved that it I didn't miss it or crushed that you didn't' actually do a strip tease."

"Down kitten, it makes you creppy. I'm here to recover and you are here to write."

"Do dreams count?"

Kate rolled her eyes and got up from the chair. "It's time for lunch Castle. Feed me."

"Of course my lady."


	13. A Day In The Life

**I think my favorite time in any stories I've read have always been at the Hampton house. It keeps everything centered between Castle and Beckett. No interruptions. That's why I'm enjoying writing this part so much.**

**I could keep them here forever, but I want to get them back to the precinct to go through there interactions with this cases with these new found abilities and their relationship moving forward. I won't rush through anything, I just won't do a day by day description. That would get dull.**

**As always things for the follows and favorites. Over 150 followers, that amazing. Thanks for enjoying the story. Reviews are always helpful.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

As they sat at the kitchen table eating sandwiches Castle kept throwing little glances at Kate. She finally put down her sandwich to respond.

"Seriously Castle, it didn't happen. How could you have fallen for that any way? I can't even get my shirt on or off without your help. That's part of the reason I'm here, remember? How could I have possibly pulled off a strip tease?"

"I happen to know that I'm very inspiring." Castle straightened in his chair and turned his head to give her his profile. "Also, you are very talented. I have every confidence you could pull it off if you wanted to."

Kate just shook her head at that. There was the nine year old she adored so much. At one of the lowest points in her life, both mentally and physically, he still desired her. There was a time she would never have admitted what that did for her ego or self-image. Fortunately, that time passed about six weeks ago while she was sitting in a hospital bed. Kate picked up a chip and ate it.

"Speaking of help, after lunch you are going to have to help me change out the bandages."

_My favorite time of day. _

He saw Kate raise an eyebrow at him as if to say "Really?".

_WHAT?! NO! I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I would never want you to be hurt. Oh, for the love of …_

Kate reached across the table, grabbing Castle's hand.

"I know that you just want to see me with no clothes on Castle." She threw in a smile for good measure.

"Yes. No. Wait, you are doing this on purpose." Castle put his head in his hands. "Mind reading sucks." He mumbled.

Kate giggled at the sight of the playboy millionaire Richard Castle flustered like a high school freshman by the prospect of seeing a woman shirtless in his home. She found it irresistibly adorable.

"I told you we are not going to worry about these little slips anymore. You are attracted to me, I'm attracted to you. These things are going to happen. They are probably going to happen a lot more after the little intense dream adventure we had last night. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm not."

Castle lifted his face from his hands. "Right. We are adults in a relationship. We can do this." He picked up his sandwich, taking a bite."

"Well, I'm an adult in a relationship."

Castle stuck his tongue out at her to prove her point.

"Now finish eating so you can check my stitches."

* * *

After picking up the kitchen Castle followed Beckett up the stairs to her room. She walked in and sat on the bed. Castle went into the a-joining bathroom to retrieve the bandages. He walked back into the bedroom carrying his supplies. He kneeled down on the floor next to the bed.

"How's the pain."

"It' fi-", Kate stopped herself. She had made a promise to Castle and herself to be more open. The easiest was to start with the little things. "I hurt Rick. I hurt. I can't move fast. I can't move much. I feel the scars tug even when I'm carful. I'm tired, all the time." She lowered her head, not in shame, or defeat, but in acceptance. "I'm winded walking from the kitchen to the bedroom. I could fall asleep right now."

"Well, let's get your bandages changed and we can get you rested."

"Alright, but slowly. I'm really stiff and sore." Kate looked down at the floor. "I think I'm going to need more pain meds."

"Kate, its fine. You took some when you woke up earlier, right? You are due."

_There is not weakness in admitting and dealing with your pain, Kate._

_I know that, but I've denied any sign of weakness for so long, it's hard to change. I'm trying, Castle. I'm trying._

Castle raised his hand and brushed his fingers across her face. She nuzzled her cheek into his palm. "I'm so glad you asked me to come here Castle. So very glad." _Doing this alone would have been so hard. Thank you._

The bandages were removed and the incisions inspected. Castle managed to make it through the entire process without saying, or more importantly, thinking anything overly embarrassing. It was when he was putting on the second bandage on Kate's chest that he got distracted.

"Castle what are you doing?" Kate looked at him with a crooked smile on her face.

"I'm just making sure the tape is going to stay put and not pull your skin or the stiches when you move."

"I meant with the other hand."

Castle immediately realized that his left hand was slowly stroking Kate's right side and stomach. He immediately stopped.

"Don't stop. That feels really good, besides it takes my mind off the ache on the other side." Kate closed her eyes to fully enjoy the experience.

As he traced his hands up and down her side Castle could feel her body relax. After a few moments he helped her lay down on her back. After a few more moments she was sleeping soundly. As he went to leave the room he realized they never got around to putting her shirt back on. He gently laid the sheet on her, covering her and keeping her from getting a chill. Before standing he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

* * *

Quietly closing the door while existing Kate's room he stopped in the hallway. He felt guilty for the small sense of happiness that washed over him. He hated seeing Kate in danger and in pain. However, he couldn't be anything other than happy about where they were in their relationship. She was at this house. She was letting him help take care of her. They were moving forward in life beyond partners, beyond friends.

Castle took a deep breath letting the feeling settle in his soul. It had been a long time since he had felt this calm. This together. Just three weeks ago he didn't think he would ever be here. Actually making it was a feeling to enjoy.

He headed back down stairs to get in some more writing. At this rate he was going to actually meet the first deadline. It had been years since he had managed that feat. Gina was going to think he was up to something.

* * *

Kate woke up several hours later. Her sleep had not only not been disturbed by nightmares, she actually had some good dreams. As she laid in the bed and opened her eyes she realized that she didn't have a shirt on. That's when she remembered she had fallen asleep with Castle gently stroking her good side and stomach. She exhaled deeply. His touch had felt so good, so relaxing. It had put her so much at ease. His gentle ministrations had chased away all the dark thoughts that normally plagued her right before falling asleep. That probably had a lot to do with the pleasant dreams she had experienced.

That made Kate wonder about the sleeping arrangements. The rather explicit dreams they shared the previous night pretty much negated her "taker our time" argument about being intimate. It was a dream but it sure hadn't felt like it. He was seeing her topless twice a day, and she hadn't even taken a shower yet. Color rose to her cheeks. That was going to be awkward, because she was definitely going to need help. She was positive if she asked to sleep in Castle's bed he would let her, but she wasn't sure what message she would be sending. They had talked about moving forward and having a real relationship, but sleeping in the same bed was skipping a lot of steps. Castle knew that she wasn't in any sort of condition for anything physical, but she wasn't leading him on either. She was going to have to talk to Castle about it. Wow, when had she become such a talker? When she could talk to Castle and not actually have to say anything, that's when.


	14. Crossing Boundaries

**Hi. My name is AngelicDragons and I'm an addict. I need reviews. Need them. I have to have reviews. I crave them. (Ok, I'm done.)**

**The next installment. Still making progress. I actually like this slow boil.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Kate awoke to the smell of something wonderful. She couldn't place exactly what she was smelling but it was making her mouth water. The delicious aroma was reason enough for her to roll out of her bed and head toward the kitchen. As she approached she could tell that a wonderful meat was searing on a grill, vegetables were cooking, and there was something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. As she came down the stairs, reaching the end of the hall she found Castle in the kitchen completely immersed in the meal he was preparing.

"It smells heavenly, Castle."

Castle startled a little, having not heard her approach. "Good grief woman. Stop using you super ninja skills to sneak up on people. It's not polite. Especially when they are cooking your dinner." He flashed her one of his million watt smiles.

"So what are you making?"

"Ah, I am making grilled chicken, steamed vegetable with rice, and baked potatoes."

"Are we having company?" Kate was a little nervous about people showing up. She wasn't even close to being at her best and she really didn't want anyone intruding on her Castle time.

"No. Just us." Castle continued to move around the kitchen with practiced ease.

"So then, why so fancy?"

Castle stopped his actions. "Not fancy, just complete. So far I've fed you pancakes and a sandwich. What sort of host is that? This is a dinner fit for a guest of honor like yourself."

"I would hardly consider myself a guest of honor Castle. I'm more like an over bearing relative that needs constant supervision."

…_were related…dream…someday…_

"What was that Castle? I didn't get all of that." Kate looked at him quizzically.

He looked her in the eyes and used the smile that said he had a secret. "You weren't supposed to get any of it." He continued to move around the kitchen preparing things. "So how was your nap?"

"Excellent." _Mostly because there weren't any bad dreams. I actually had good dreams._

"I'm glad. You deserve it."

"You did it."

"Well if all it takes is the smell of good food to make you sleep better, I'll cook all night."

Kate let out a soft laugh. "It wasn't the food Castle. It was…"_ I can do this. I can say it out loud. _"…it was your touch that helped me fall to sleep. It…it kept the bad thoughts away and that kept the bad dreams away."

Castle froze holding a piece of chicken with a pair of tongs in mid turn on the indoor grill.

_That is, without exception, the single greatest compliment I have ever been paid._

"Castle." Kate said shyly.

"No. Really. I don't know what to say." Castle set the chicken back down and moved across the kitchen to the stool Kate was sitting on, gently wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her deeply and fully.

Kate grabbed the front of his shirt and fisted it in her hands pulling him closer.

They stayed like that for long moments before they both reluctantly pulled back but still gazing into one another's eyes.

"The chicken, Castle."

"I'll order out."

"I would like the chicken." She said smiling up at him.

He unwrapped his arms from around her and walked back over to the stove top pulling the grilling chicken up and plating it.

Castle wanted to eat in the formal dining room but Kate refused. She liked the intimacy of the sitting area in the kitchen. They had been eating for a little while when she decided to bring up the topic she had been avoiding. She was incredibly nervous about it but decided that she could at least use the conversation for entertainment. Castle had just taken a drink of wine when she spoke up.

"So, I was hoping you would let me sleep with you in your bed tonight."

She was rewarded with choking and spitting noises as she watched Castle begin coughing into his napkin. It took him a minute to get over the fit.

She couldn't help but laugh quietly while she watched.

"Ok, I admit that was mean, but very, very funny."

"So, are you serious?"

"Yes." Kate sat down her fork and reached for Castle's hand. "Rick, all you did today was rub my side while I fell asleep. I had good dreams Rick. Good dreams. That's not something I had often before the shooting. I'm hoping that being close to you, having you there will make sleeping easier. Make me feel safer."

"Of course you know you can."

"I don't want you to think I'm leading you on, though. I know we are going to move forward in this relationship, but I'm not in any…

"Kate, you don't have to put out that disclaimer anymore." Rick smiled at Kate. "You are not leading me on. I'm not using you for your body." _Yet. _Rick wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Nope, I'm using your body…" Kate paused to let Rick's mind wander. "… to get a good night's sleep."

_Kate Beckett you are a wicked, wicked woman._

_You have no idea._

* * *

The evening passed quickly for both of them.

It passed quickly for Castle out of excitement. This was something he had dreamed about for years. He felt like a high school boy right before picking up his prom date. It was ridiculous to feel this way, but he couldn't help it. Kate Beckett was going to be sleeping in his bed.

Kate on the other hand was just plan nervous. She was going to sleep with Richard Castle. She didn't sleep sleep with men she was having a relationship with. She or they always left. On top of that this was Richard Castle. She had had a crush on him since she was nineteen. There had been the year and half where she wasn't exactly his biggest fan, but that had long since passed. Now she was going to use him for all intents and purposes as a security blanket. The fading vestiges of her pride bristled at the thought of needing someone to be brave.

She wasn't going to back pedal on this. It was time to move forward with her life. If that meant asking for and accepting help, then that's what she would do. There was no reason to deny herself comfort. Castle wasn't going to hurt her and he certainly wasn't going to judge her. The reason he had invited her here and the reason she came was to rest and recover.

Kate completely missed the last half hour of the movie they were watching because of her mind racing. She didn't even notice Castle stand and offer her his hand until he called her name.

"Kate?"

"Huh?" She looked up to see him standing there offering to help her up off the sofa. "Oh, thanks Rick." She took his hand and allowed him to help her upstairs.

"We still need to change your bandages. If you want to go to the bedroom, I'll go get the bandages and meet you there."

"Ok."

This time the change went relatively smoothly. Castle still had the stray thought or twelve but Kate just smiled at him and he didn't seem nearly as embarrassed as he had been.

After finishing, Castle stood up and looked at her "Which side do you want?"

"It's your bed Castle."

"You're the guest."

"I'm gonna have to choose aren't I?"

"Yes."

"The right side."

"The right side, my lady." Castle made a bowing gesture as he walked around to the left side of the bed.

As they both laid down and got under the covers, Kate wasn't sure who was more nervous, her or Castle. After a moment of just lying there on her back, she finally spoke up.

"I won't bite Rick."

"Well, that kind of sucks the fun out of everything don't you think."

Kate rolled her eyes in the dark and let out a laugh. "Castle."

She felt the bed shift as he moved closer and then the warmth of this hand as it slid across her midsection. Goosebumps followed in the wake of his touch.

When next he spoke, this voice was too deep, to close, and the warmth of his breath against her ear was to perfect.

"I don't make the same promise."

_Castle._

_Shhh. Go to sleep. Wake me if you need anything._

With that she felt his hand begin to make small circles on her stomach. In moments she faded into sleep.


	15. Dream a Little Dream

**It has occurred to be previously that this story lends itself to what could be really, really good smut. Unfortunately, I can't write smut. I simply lack that talent or seriousness to write it. Trust me I tried. So, this is as smutty or smutless (depending on your point of view) as this story gets. Which is really not at all. **

**Anyway, here we are. Thank you everyone who has reviewed. I'm don't answer back because I'm lucky I have the time to write the stories, but they are truly appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"_I've been a lot of places Kate, but I don't know where this is." Castle said looking around at the city they were standing in the middle of._

"_It's Kiev. I love this city. Right down there is a wonderful little café that I spent many pleasant afternoons at when I was supposed to be studying."_

_Castle offered Kate his elbow. "Shall we?"_

_She threaded her arms through his and smiled happily at him. "Sure."_

_The two began a gentle walk to the end of the block. Castle was amazed at the amount of detail that surrounded him. Not only were the buildings amazingly well done, the people on the street were impeccably dressed._

"_You've always had quite the eye for detail."_

"_Like I said, I spent a lot of time here."_

"_Doing what?"_

"_Taking in the sites. There were a lot of beautiful things to see."_

"_Like the twenty something leather jacket wearing hipster we have walked by four times?"_

_Kate let out a small laugh. "Maybe."_

"_So did you ever talk to him?"_

"_To who?"_

"_To the handsome young gentlemen that is about to walk by us yet again? How long is this block anyway?"_

_"NO! I wasn't that type of trip and I wasn't that type of girl."_

"_So, when did you become that type of girl?"_

"_Castle, this is my dream and I'll turn you into Patterson if you don't behave."_

"_You said you were a one writer girl?"_

"_I am." She leaned up and kissed him. "But that doesn't mean that said writer doesn't have to be nice to said girl."_

"_Ok. Point taken. I apologize."_

"_Don't worry about it." Kate stopped. "We have arrived. Even you will enjoy the coffee here. And if you don't, just dream it better."_

"_I may just do that."_

_They sat and enjoyed a coffee, the scenery, and a comfortable silence settled between them. That was until Castle's inability to be quiet got the best of him._

"_This is a truly great memory."_

"_I think so." Kate said taking another sip of coffee._

"_I'm sure you do, but this is a great memory for anyone." Castle could tell by the look on her face she wasn't quite following. "You are in a great city, on a marvelous day, sitting outside, drinking coffee, and simply being. This is relaxing, interesting, and can involve as many or as few people as you like."_

"_I think it's better with company."_

"_I think so as well, but that's not what I meant. See my happy memories are Alexis's birth, my first letter saying I would be published, and my divorce from the deep fried Twinkie. They are all dependent on others or hold meaning just for me. This… ", Castle waved his arms around. "simply is. This isn't dependent on anything or anyone."_

"_I thought I was the over thinker in this relationship, Castle."_

"_You are. This is just an aberration."_

"_Enjoy your coffee Castle."_

As they enjoyed their coffee in Kate's Kiev memory, Kate and Castle snuggled closer on his bed. Kate, laying on her back, pulled Ricks hand further across her stomach and intertwined their hands.

* * *

The morning came entirely too quickly for Kate. Even though she had spent the night having coffee with Castle, she felt completely refreshed. More importantly, she had had two nights of nightmare free sleep. She looked over to make sure that Castle was asleep because there was no way that she was ever going to admit to this to him.

_COMING HERE WAS THE GREATEST DECISION EVER!_

She checked again to make sure that he was still asleep. Now all she had to do was wait for Castle to wake up and she could talk to him about the shower she most desperately needed. Good lord she was getting ripe.

It took Prince Charming another 45 minutes to wake up. As he slowly came too, he basked in the presence of Kate in his bed.

"Moring sleepy head."

"Morning." He said groggily.

"I guess all the coffee we drank was decaffeinated judging by your late start."

Castle groaned. "Imaginary coffee doesn't count."

"Well, you need to get up. I smell and I need your help to shower. I can't take a bath yet because the scars aren't healed."

At that Castle's eyes popped open. "A shower?"

"Down Romeo." Kate said smacking his arm. "I am standing. You are bathing me. There will be nothing else." Kate looked at Castle. She decided to completely cross his wires and mix the signals and threw him a wink. I girl had to keep some mystery.

Kate got out of the bed, got her soap and shampoo from her room and brought it back to the bathroom. Castle walked into the bathroom behind her. They stared at one another for a few minutes not saying or doing anything.

Once again Kate broke the stalemate. "Alright, Rick. Help me with my shirt and pants."

Castle helped her remove the large shirt and sweat pants leaving her in bandages and panties.

"Rick, I can't take a shower in my panties or with the bandages on."

"Right." Castle helped remove the bandages and the last article of clothing. He quickly turned toward the shower and cut on the water. "You can go ahead and get in the shower, I'll go get the soap and shampoo." Castle walked out the bathroom and shut the door.

Kate walked into the shower. Castle had a truly great shower. Water was coming from everywhere and it was at the perfect temperature. That's when the thought hit her out of the blue.

_Castle? Castle? Rick, stop doing your happy dance and get back in here and help me shower._

_What?! There is no happy dance. What happy dance? I'm getting shampoo and, and, and soap._

_No you aren't._

_Why would you say that?_

_One, the soap and shampoo are in here. I got them. Two, you wouldn't have shut the door to the bathroom unless there was something you didn't want me to see. Three, you haven't left the bedroom because we can still hear each other. Four, even your thoughts stutter when you are nervous and lying._

_Wow, you are a truly great detective._

_So I've heard. Now get back in here and help me get showered._

Castle entered the bathroom with a smile he simply couldn't suppress. At the sight, Kate couldn't help but smile back.

"Please, don't make me laugh. It hurts to do that."

"Is the water warm enough?"

"It's perfect."

Castle reached out and touched the scar on her side. "Not too much pressure on the wounds."

"No, it's perfect really."

"Alright then, the important question. Do you start at the bottom and go up or do you start at the top and go down?"

"I've never thought about it. I want my hair done last, so start at the bottom." Kate thought better of her word choice immediately. "Feet. Start at my feet."

The minute his hands hit her calves and started toward her feet Kate realized this was an amazingly bad idea. A slow creeping warmth started spreading from his hands and throughout her body. At the same time her mind began to short circuit. She had wanted to feel those hands for so long. The fact that they were finally touching her was heavenly. Oh, he was so good with his hands, and he wasn't even trying. They were so big and very strong. She could feel her knees starting to get that shaking, jello feeling.

"Castle, stop."

Castle immediately stopped what he was doing. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not in pain. I just need to sit down for a minute."

Castle helped her to the built in bench. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"Yes Castle. I am very, very sure you didn't hurt me." She looked up and smiled at him. "Let's finish the rest of the shower sitting down, ok? I'm sure all of these nozzles can get me water to me here."

"Yeah, of course."

With that Kate leaned back and simply enjoyed the shower, helping when she could. After this she was going to need another cold shower, without Castle, to get through the rest of the day.


	16. Driven to Distraction

**Thank you everyone for reading. I enjoy this story more and more. I hope you do as well.**

**Please continue to leave reviews to let me know how I'm doing. (And boost the writer's ego to keep the story going.)**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle…**

* * *

Kate was laying on Castle's bed resting. Well that's what she had told Castle she was going to do. He had gone down stairs to write, claiming inspiration. If that's what he wanted to call it, fine. Kate was simply trying to collect herself. She wasn't even sure which thoughts of hers he had heard and which ones she had managed to keep quiet. She was positive that had the whole sensation lasted just a few moments more, injury or no injury, things would have escalated. She would have made sure of it. Richard Castle had given her a shower. A simple, chaste, shower to her injured, tired body and it was the most intimate, intense experience of her life.

"Deep breaths Kate. Deep breaths."

Good thing that Castle was down stairs and couldn't hear her words or thoughts right now. If he offered she would go back in there right now and do it all over again. She was only going to be able to shower once a week or less. She had no doubts that Rick would remain the perfect gentleman, but there was no way she was going to remain a lady.

"Time to think about baseball." She said as she closed her eyes.

* * *

Twenty minutes of writing, five pages of Kate's name typed over and over again. He was so lucky that she was so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn't heard his. So lucky. She would have run screaming from the room. He was only going to be able to shower her once a week or less. There was no way he was going to hold it together if they did this every day.

"I've had an inspiration. I'm going to go write." He mocked himself.

He was inspired alright. He finally understood why Troy got leveled over Helen. He would wipe out entire countries for Kate Beckett. She was so gone, to wherever place her mind took her, that she didn't even realize the thoughts she was shooting out into the universe. The comments and suggestions she was reeling off just about made him lose his mind. Not that he wasn't already a complete wreck with a gloriously undressed Beckett in his shower. He rubbed his face with the palms of his hands and sighed.

Castle placed his hands flat on the desk, sat up straight in his chair, and took a deep breath. He closed the document that was nothing but Kate's name repeated over and over and deleted it. He opened another blank document and began typing. At least this time, words other than Kate appeared on the page.

* * *

Kate never fell asleep. Her mind wouldn't slow down long enough to relax. She was thinking like a teenage girl with a crush. This was ridiculous. She had to get a grip on herself.

"I could always talk to Castle?"

Who was she and what had happened to Kate Beckett. Three years of silence, denial, and pushing him away and now suddenly she wanted to talk about feelings, emotions, and desires. When had she become such a girl? She giggled quietly to herself, then groaned when she realized she was giggling.

In her defense, she had been shot, almost died, was heavily medicated, and Castle had confessed his love for her. She had seen cops who had been involved in incidents like hers make life changing decisions not long afterward. She hadn't understood it then, but being on the other side of the near death experience she could see the reason for it. Had she died on the ground in that cemetery she would never have had the experiences that she had had in the last three weeks. If the last three weeks were any indication of the future, then the future was going to be pretty exceptional. Minus the PTSD and pain.

PTSD. She was going to have to do something about that. She knew that things weren't better. She was going to have to face the fact that she needed help to get back to where she was.

Good grief! Now she was asking for help, again. She really had lost her mind. Completely lost her mind. Maybe this is why she ran off and hid when she was hurt. When she was wounded and hurting she couldn't help but ask for help. Maybe that's why she avoided people.

Kate sat up on the bed. "That is more than enough self-realization for one day and it's only", she looked over at the clock, "10:30 in the morning. If this keeps up I'll be watching Hallmark Movies and reading Cosmo before I get back to work."

With a heave and a grunt she got up off the bed and headed for the kitchen.

* * *

This wasn't working. He couldn't concentrate. Everything he typed just seemed wrong. He had attempted to write a steamy scene between Rook and Heat. That had been an epically bad idea. He lost focus on the second sentence. Ten minutes later he came out of his day dream with nothing written.

He didn't want to get Kate off his mind, far from it. What he wanted to do was be able to focus on other things, if only for a little bit.

"This is ridiculous." He said shaking his head.

She had slept in his bed, actually slept. Nothing had happened. And shower, it was the least romantic two person shower he had ever had. They had been so intimate though. Kate had bared, ok bad choice of words, herself to him. He knew how much it had taken her to ask for help and to accept it. So much of her walls had fallen in the last few weeks, few days. He didn't want to push too hard, but he just needed her right now. He just wanted to take her in his arms and hold her and make her feel better.

He felt so lonely right now, which was ridiculous, she was right up stairs. The closeness he had felt waking up next to her this morning, he wanted to feel it again, right now. She was just upstairs…

"That's it. I need a break. I'll just go get something to drink."

* * *

Rick entered the kitchen to see Kate leaned into the refrigerator. A very attractive back side was just peeking past the open door.

"Hey good looking, come her often?"

Kate startled standing to quickly and wincing.

Castle came walking around the counter. "Right, sorry, don't startle the person with the injury. Sorry Kate. You alright?"

Kate looked up at Rick as she moved to sit down at the table. The technical answer to his question was 'yes'. She moved to fast pulling her incision and stiches, but nothing was damaged and she would be fine. In the larger sense of the word she was not fine. She was on fire, from her hair to the tips of her toes.

Castle walked over to the chair and bent down in front of Kate. "Kate? Are you alright? Kate? Let me see your side."

_There is something wrong Castle._

Kate reached forward, grabbed his head and pulled him close. She kissed him deeply and passionately. She wrapped her arms around his head, pulled him closer, and refused to let go.

Castle was a little shocked at first but this was just what he needed. The edge that he had been on all morning simply vanished as he felt her arms wrap around him.

Kate finally let go of Rick's head pulling back to look in his eyes. "There. Now things are alright."


	17. The Moment

**This is literally the fifth version of this chapter I've written. This is the only one that felt right. It's the only one that took this path. While it is suggestive, I hope it doesn't cross the line. I really don't want to change the rating, but if I get complaints I will.**

**This chapter was hard, but I have the feeling it shouldn't have been. I think I was fighting the characters. Once I gave them what they wanted, things fell in to place quickly.**

**Remember, reviews feed the fiction. Thank you everyone that is reading.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Castle.**

* * *

_Oh Rick._

_Kate you are beautiful._

_Oh Yes! That. Do that._

_Kate!_

_Please Castle. Please._

_I need you Kate. So much._

_Don't stop. Oh, Castle!_

_I'm not…can't…Kate!_

_So many colors._

Kate awoke to fingers gently grazing her stomach and her good side as she laid on her back in Castle's bed. She must have fallen asleep. She could feel the ache on her side, she had definitely over done it, but it was completely dwarfed by the very pleasant ache that she hadn't felt in such a very long time. She kept her eyes closed simply relishing the sensation that the fingers were extracting from her skin.

_That feels wonderful Rick._

"You called me Rick."

"I think I called you many more things that just Rick, Rick." She said with a smile on her lips.

"Yes, but just calling me Rick is still my favorite. I was afraid all I would ever be would be to you is Castle. The guy that muscled into your life and you just couldn't get rid of."

"You were never just Castle." Kate said turning her head toward Castle. "You weren't just Castle when I read your first book. You weren't just Castle when I interrogated you the first time. You weren't just Castle when we worked that first case. You weren't just Castle when you threw down $100,000 dollars for a chance to catch my mother's killer. You weren't just Castle when you beat Lockwood unconscious, when we almost froze to death that day, or when you defused the bomb. You weren't just Castle when you tried to take a bullet for me. You are Richard Castle, my partner, my best friend, my lover, and the great love of my life."

Castle laid there staring at her. He noticed that his hands had stopped rubbing Kate's stomach. He was completely at a loss as to what to say. Instead he scooted over a little and kissed her.

"Thank you."

"I meant every word of it Rick. Every word."

"I know." He whispered quietly. "It's just I'm the word smith and I'm kind of falling flat right now."

"Castle, you've written books about and too me. I'm pretty sure you've still got me. I don't think I've ever been more flattered than the dedication in the first book."

"'To the extraordinary KB' really? You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.'

"I told you that then Rick."

"Yes, but I thought you were just being polite. You know it took me days to get that dedication right. I wanted it to be complimentary and convey my true feelings, but I also didn't want you to break both my legs."

"Yeah, I should never have threatened you like that. It wasn't very nice, but I was trying to keep my distance."

"I really do understand that. I did have an awful reputation. There was no reason for you take me remotely seriously. Especially the way I acted when we first met and on those first cases."

"It wasn't your reputation that worried me." Castle gave her is patented 'Really Beckett' stare. "Ok, it wasn't your reputation the way you are thinking about it." She placed her hand on his that was now just resting on her stomach. "Rick, I am a homicide detective. I'm good at my job, but I'm just a cop. You are Richard Freakin' Castle. You are one of New York's most eligible bachelors."

"Not anymore."

"Don't interrupt. You date starlets, socialites, and models. You live your life on page 6. The books you wrote based on me are now going to be played by an actress who is physically flawless and 10 times better looking than me."

"Ok, stop, hold it right there. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. At first I thought you were fishing for a compliment, but you are serious. Katherine Beckett, you are, without question, the single most exquisite woman I have ever seen, much less known. I will not have you degrading yourself like that." He leaned over and kissed her. "Alright?"

"Ok, but back to my point. I didn't want to get my hopes up about you. I had been, for lack of a better term, crushing on you since college and then there you were. I wanted you. I wanted you bad. Even after your little display in the interrogation room."

"Not one of my finest moments, but I did enjoy myself."

"I have no doubt. The point is, I never thought I had a chance, so I didn't want to look like the raving fan girl that I actually was." _Still am._

"I don't know that I would call you a 'raving fan girl'. I mean you have read all the books, even the bad ones. But that's doesn't make you raving."

_In the spirit of our new found relationship, I'm going to share. If you make a big deal out of it or tease me it will be the last sharing I ever do._

_Scou…_

_You were never a scout and I'm serious, Castle._

_I promise._

_I made Sorenson stand in line with me for an hour to get one of your books signed. I may have, on more than one occasion said your same while with other men. It might be one of the reasons why Will disliked you so much. It's possible that I've been a member of your fan site so long I have admin privileges. It's probably why I knew where your launch party was the night I brought you in for questioning. I read Storm and Heat fan fiction. I might have possibly even written some. I might have liberated two shirts from the loft when you let me stay there after the bombing._

Everything was silent for a few moments.

_Anything else?_

_I think that's more than enough sharing. Personally I blame the post coital haze._

"I can go with that." He began stroking her side and stomach again. "Thank you for sharing. I know it's never an easy thing for you."

"It's getting easier. At least it's getting easier sharing with you." She laid there silently for several moments enjoying his touch. "Thanks for not letting me run Castle."

"Thanks for letting me stop you."

The two simply laid there for a while longer enjoying to comfortable silence.

"What time is it?" Kate asked.

Castle rolled over to pick up his phone. "1:30. Hungry?"

"Yes. I should probably take a pain pill." _Don't say it._

"But Kate…"

_Don't. It was the single most intimate moment of my life and you will not spoil it by worrying about me being a little sore._

"It's my fault…"

_Nope. I was just as much a part of what happened as you were. In fact, I started the whole kissing bit with the sole intention of making you lose your mind. _"I needed you Rick. Needed you. I haven't felt this whole in a long, long time. Any slight, passing discomfort I have from it is totally worth it."

Castel let out a breath. "Fine, but not again until you are healed and get the doctor's ok."

"You think you can hold out that long?"

"That depends. Are you going to be a good girl and play fair?"

"When have I ever been a good girl or played fair, Ricky?"


End file.
